After a time, he breaks away, his eyes hazed. “Did you sleep well?” he rumbles in that smoky tone.
“I did.” Only now do I recognize the ease slumber provides when my body perceives no threat. “And you?” I study his expression for subtle signs of nervousness. Often, the mouth speaks one thing, the body another.
“I cannot remember when I last slept so deeply,” Eurus admits.
This, I understand. Back at the estate, my sleep was shallow, fitful. Always, I listened: footsteps in the kitchen, on the stairs. Lady Clarisse might interrupt my rest at a moment’s notice. The racing heartbeat I once knew, that constant state of heightened vigilance—gone.
The East Wind twists a lock of my hair between thumb and forefinger. All the while, I gently explore the contours of his chest. When his mouth shapes its downward bend, I rub his jaw until it softens.
“I hope I didn’t wake you in the night,” he says. “Did I…?”
“No night terrors,” I reassure him.
Relief draws the tension from his frame, and he settles deeper into the mattress. For a time, all is quiet, and I fear cracking its frail shell. Today is a beginning, but it is also an ending. Am I a fool to desire a life where I am granted not simply one night, but years of them, each morning spent in the East Wind’s arms? “Do we have time to grab lunch in the city?”
He gazes out the window for one, two, three heartbeats. I sense he is troubled. “Technically, with the tournament having ended, I am required to depart the city before noon.”
I stare at him in confusion. “I thought you were going to ask the council to reverse your banishment?”
“I am still undecided.” He frowns. There is something in his expression that I cannot fully decipher. “Can I ask you something?”
There was once a time when Eurus believed change to be impossible. But look how far he has come, to exchange demands for requests, suspicion for faith. He has evolved, as have I. We are both better for it. “You may.”
“What are you returning to, in Marles?”
For whatever reason, I feel the need to tug the sheet over my head, a flimsy shield against this probing inquiry. “I have my work, as you know. I have the town. And my memories of Nan.”
“But you are not happy. You are not appreciated or treated with care. You are worked like a dog, and were treated as such.”
His words sting. That must mean they hold some truth.
“I do recognize Lady Clarisse’s mistreatment of m-me,” I admit, pulling my knees to my chest. “But with all due respect, Eurus, you are a god. You have the means to build a life that is meaningful to you. Most mortals must accept the circumstances they’ve been given.”
“Maybe I don’t know what it means to be mortal,” he says, “but I do know you deserve so much more than what that woman gives you.”
“I know,” I whisper. “That’s why I’m leaving her employment.”
Eurus rears back. “You are?”
I nod. “I want to continue my grandmother’s work. I have some money saved. After Lady Clarisse sells the estate, I’ll need to find a place of my own, somewhere I can build my business.” I must accept that it might not be in St. Laurent. Lady Clarisse is extremely possessive of her clientele. She would never allow another bane weaver to infringe on her empire.
“Min, that’s wonderful.” He grasps my hand, holds it to his face. I swipe my thumb across his cheek affectionately. “Why the change of heart?”
“I am not the same woman I was. It’s all right to want something different.” It is natural to feel that I have changed.
Leaning forward, he brushes a kiss across my brow. “I’m proud of you, bird.”
I smile, albeit sadly. “Me too.” There is much I will gain. But there is much I will lose, too.
While Eurus begins to dress, I yank on my undergarments, my motions stilted with fresh grief. Is this all there is? One passion-fueled night, then morning, the sun burning away the memory like dew on grass?
“Will you, I mean…” I swallow, draw forth my voice. “Will we see each other? After?”
Eurus pauses in dragging his wrinkled shirt over his head. His wings droop, their crenated edges skimming the rugs underfoot. “If my banishment is overturned, I will be expected to return to the City of Gods. It is generally frowned upon for the divine to meddle in mortal affairs.”
My heart drops straight down to my toes. “Right. Of course.” How quickly things change. Last night, we were twined tightly, our limbs blurred, distinction lost. Yet a gulf has opened between us. It holds this ambiguous future, the knowledge that I could have the East Wind, I could have St. Laurent, but I could not have both.
While Eurus begins packing, I retreat to my bedroom. My tools are cleaned, sorted neatly in their box. What remains of Eastern Blood, I dump out the window. It will be the last poison I ever brew.
