“I’m fine, as you can see.” I gesture toward my rumpled dress impatiently. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” I begin to shut the door.
His foot catches the jamb. Our eyes collide, mine cautious, his skeptical. One hard push, and Notus forces his way inside.
Arms crossed over my chest, I track his powerful form across the room. Beneath my dress, my nipples pebble to points. “Just because we share a connecting door does not mean you are free to come and go as you please. Shall I call the guards?”
Notus doesn’t respond, instead vanishing into my study, apparently searching for something. Moments later, he reappears before venturing into my bathing chambers, then my sitting room. As his attention passes over my rumpled bed, however, he halts. I realize with horror that the cloth I’d used to wipe myself clean is balled atop the bedside table, the bottle of oil resting beside it.
Clearing my throat, I step forward, drawing his focus away from the damning evidence. “What do you want, Notus? I don’t appreciate having my rest disturbed.”
“No one is here?” he presses. “You are alone?”
I lift a hand, drop it. “Clearly.”
Once more, his attention returns to the cloth. I’ve half a mind to toss it out the window, though that would certainly reinforce the truth of its purpose. But really, what have I to be ashamed of? Nothing. I was simply doing as the gods intended. Why should a woman not pleasure herself in the privacy of her rooms, as all men do?
Slowly, he angles toward me. I am not aware I’m holding my breath until the pinch behind my sternum forces me to exhale. “You were pleasuring yourself?”
My chest flares with heat. It is wrong for such filthy words to be wrapped in so rich a sound. “I was,” I state. “As were you.” When my eyes drop to the front of his trousers, I’m met with the unmistakable stiffness of his erection. “Do you deny it?”
And the South Wind says, “I do not.”
Dark pleasure slides through me. Here are unexplored riches, and I wish to pry them open, plunder every delicious drop. “Did you think of me?” I ask, reaching for Notus, my hand cupping his erection through his trousers. I press my thumb against the wide head. It leaps in my grip, a hard, throbbing heat. “Did you think of my mouth on you? How it might feel for our bodies to relearn one another’s? To think, we could have found release together, instead of attending to our needs separately.”
Beneath my touch, his will weakens. I am glad of it. I will topple him stone by stone. And when all that remains is dust and ruin, I will begin the process all over again.
“Let me make something absolutely clear,” he says. “There is only one person I desire in this life, and that is you.” The low, gritty texture of his voice rakes across my skin like coarse grains of sand. “The thoughts I have of you…”
I swallow, hard. “Wh-what thoughts?”
His eyes are wholly black. “I wish to fill my hands with your curves. To clamp your ripened flesh in my palms and mark your skin with my mouth so that all who gaze upon you will know you’re mine.”
My mouth parts, the shock of his words staggering me.
“What do I desire?” he continues, easing nearer, one hand claiming the curve of my hip. “The sweetness of your throat poured into mine.The clasp of your sex around my cock. The pliancy of your limbs, your breathlessness, the racing of your heart alongside mine. You ask what I desire?” His voice drops lower, if possible. “Everything that you can give me.”
I can neither move nor speak nor breathe.
“Do you not see how I hunger for you, Sarai? Do you not recognize how I pace this cage, eager for whatever scrap of affection you toss my way?”
A pinch behind my ribs. I feel breathless with the understanding that it has caused him pain, this wanting and pacing and waiting and yearning. It completely overwhelms my defenses. “So why did you leave me? Because I’m not enough?”
He looks like I’ve slapped him. “No, Sarai.” He is suddenly cold. “It’s not you. It’s me, it’s…” Notus retreats a step—just one.
My heart sinks. “You’re leaving.” All I want is an explanation, honesty. Yet he is always running.
His gaze holds mine. I haven’t the courage to break it. “We travel to Mirash at the end of the week,” he reminds me. “Don’t forget.”
“Don’t worry,” I mutter to his retreating back. “I won’t.”
19
“IS THIS SUFFICIENT FOR YOURsilence?”
The guard, his face shadowed, regards my outstretched hand in uncertainty.
Inwardly, I sigh. He drives a hard bargain, this one. Very well. A gentle clink as I drop another coin onto the pile rising from my palm. To the east, the sky begins to pale. I haven’t much time.
“Your Highness—”
