The way he kisses is serious. I’m thinking again of what he said before, about how it’s been a while, and I wonder why. Why me? Why now? Why these kisses feel like they’re reaching inside me, unraveling everything that’s knotted up, touching upon my truths even when they’re surrounded by lies. Why it feels so serious of a thing to do, to kiss him this way. As if we have time and always will.
Except we don’t have time. We have everything but time. On Friday, I will end this charade and Kellan will return as himself, a bright funny guy full of ridiculousness. It will end. It has to.
Tentatively, I coast my palms across the breadth of his chest. The pectoral muscles are firm beneath my hands, and jump a little as I scrape my nails across his nipples. They’re puckered with desire. Max deepens the kiss, a silent demand to keep going. They wander down, explore the planes of his abdomen, touching his hip bones, and running light fingers up his back. “Shirt,” I say, pulling away. He’s panting, his eyes clouded. With no hesitation, he tugs the shirt off, bearing his upper torso. It was beautiful the day of the car wash but I didn’t have the luxury of studying every detail. I trace the line of dark hair trailing into his slacks.
“Kellan.”
God, I wish he’d stop saying that name. Burying my face against his chest, I wrap my arms around him and hold on. He is an anchor. I’m afraid that if I let him go, I’m going to float away and return to the person I am. Is that who I want to be? Or is sitting in my room with only my laptop for company not enough anymore? It doesn’t feel like it’s enough. The thought is incredibly lonely.
“Hey.” He strokes up and down my arms. The roughness of his hands sends delicious sparks on my skin. “What’s wrong?”
I lift my head.Everything. But I can’t say that. Does he see in my eyes what I can’t say aloud?I’m sorry. I want you more than anyone. I’ve never felt like this before. What’s happening to me?“Don’t stop kissing me.” Desperation rings clear.
He doesn’t question me. Cupping my face, Max kisses me and kisses me, and at some point he moves toward the couch. He sits and pulls me onto his lap, my legs straddling his. His bulge presses against my own. Because I can’t help myself, I start grinding against him, and he breaks off with a muttered curse, his eyes glittering with untapped desire.
Gripping my waist, he starts moving me against him in encouragement. It’s quiet except for our breathing. I’m afraid if I say something it will break whatever precious thing is building between us. I’ll crush it, ruin it, destroy it. I close my eyes because that’s what cowards do when faced with a truth: they turn away from it.
Our dicks brush through our clothing, and it makes me so damn hard. The instinct to take roars through me. My fingers weave through his hair, grip tight, and tilt back Max’s head so his throat is bared for me. I lick paths down its strong column, loving the salt of his skin, the musk that is his own unique blend of soap and man. Eventually, I return to his mouth. My hips work overtime. The clothes heighten the sensation of touch.
His hands clench around my ass, and he increases the speed, everything about him screaming of possession. We break apart from kissing and stare at one another. Fucking one another with our clothes on. Pleasure builds. It’s crazy, but I’m starting to toe that brink, and he hasn’t even touched me.
“The first time I saw you,” Max grinds out, his facial muscles tightening, “I wanted you. And now you’re here—” A strangled sound slips out. He slows the motion. “I don’t want to come like this. I want you clasped around me.”
Fuck, I want that too. “What if I want you clasped around me?” I counter.
He stills my hips. I’m hard as a fence post at this point.
“I’ve never done that before,” he admits. “But I would do it for you.” As if reaffirming what he just said, Max nods. No hesitation, no uncertainty. “I would. Is that what you want?”
Chapter 20
Max
A change overcomes me as Kellan nods his head. My desire has been steadily burning like a fire in the hearth, but it’s as if someone’s just added fuel to make it burn hotter and brighter, a sudden flare of heat and light. Letting this man into my body—I can do that. Letting him into my heart—it’s already done. No turning back now.
“I would love nothing more than to feel you inside me,” I say, tucking a piece of Kellan’s hair out of his eyes. Desire swirls, yet there’s a shyness too that’s simply adorable. Makes me want to wrap my arms around him and squeeze. Yes, I have problems. “But before we do that, I have to ask you something, and please don’t get offended.”
“All right.” He waits, puzzled, though not closed-minded to the idea. An open Kellan is one I like best.
“Do you have crabs?”
His mouth opens, then closes. He’s speechless.
I’m suddenly afraid I’ve screwed everything up and he’ll walk out the door. If he does, I’ll run after him. He’s not leaving in a huff.
Yet unexpected laughter spills out, and he clutches his stomach and bends over, overtaken by deep, belly-aching mirth. “Max.” He can barely say my name through his hilarity. “I’m so glad you asked me that.”
“I just—I remember the conversation between you and Sebastian in the locker room and I wasn’t sure if that was a joke or not.”
“It was a joke. It was definitely a joke.” After wiping his eyes, he stands and gives me a grin that makes my insides do crazy acrobatics. Kellan Dumont is one of the most attractive people I’ve ever met. There’s just something about him, that little bit of mystery, paired with those deep eyes and perfect bone structure, that makes me want to lock him up with me in the bedroom and never let him go.
“I’m glad you asked though,” he says, slipping his arms around me. “Responsible. I like that.”
The way he says it feels like praise. I don’t think I’ve ever blushed over someone calling me responsible. “Wanted to make sure. Glad you didn’t take offense.”
“Are you going to sit there, or are you taking me to your bedroom?”
“Should I carry you over my shoulder like a caveman?”
