Shit. I could feel my pulse quicken. She always had me by the balls with those fucking sparkling gems.
She hesitated for a minute; her eyes watered, and her lips quivered. "I-I should not have disobeyed you. I should have known better than to have gone to that club. Are you going to punish me for betraying you?"
She was picking at the edges of the blanket nervously.
"I know you said if I didn't listen, you would return, and I would be in trouble. I guess I didn't take it seriously."
My eyes widened, disbelief written all over my face. I was the one who was surprised now. I felt my stomach tumble at her words.Did she ask if I was going to punish her? Was she permitting me to?I calmed down, replacing my excitement with an authoritative look.
"Isn't that what you deserve, young lady?"
Her face paled, and she started fidgeting, moving her hips from side to side. "I guess so, but please don't use the strap on me. I am not used to it. I know I will be disciplined without pleasure, and I guess I deserve it for being so irresponsible with my life."
Her words went straight to my cock.
WTF?Am I being punked? Where’s Ashton? She admitted she deserved to be punished for disobeying me.I guess I trained her better than I thought.
Kitlyn
I can't believe I woke up in Atlas’s bed. What the hell was I thinking? I called the guy to come pick me up because I was so stinking drunk that I couldn't see straight. Shit, I guess I needed him more than I thought. Where did Becca go that I had to call my ex-kidnapper?
I remember only eating dinner and dancing with some random dudes; everything else after that is blank.
I kept downing drink after drink, not caring about the consequences, including the splitting headache I have right now or the fact that Atlas had me under his control again, and he was going to punish me.Wait, did I permit him to discipline me for being so stupid?
I could tell him no and leave, but deep down inside, I didn't want to. I wanted him to take me over his knee and spank my ass raw. I felt so lost without him for the last four months that it made me physically ill.
I had a tough time sleeping. I was seeing a shrink to help me sort my feelings towards him and his sadistic punishments, and that wasn't helping either. This isn't some Stockholm syndrome bullshit. I would have been over him by now, but I wasn't. Not by a long shot.
I dreamt of him every night. I abstained from sex with other guys because Ilikedthe punishments and kinky sex we had together. He taught me how to be his little whore, and Ienjoyedit. I know that now. I'm pretty sure Ilovehim.
The thought sent my heart racing through my chest. It felt like a lightning bolt had just struck me.
I love him. I fucking love this man!
How did that even happen? All these months, I thought I was insane because I felt something that would label me as crazy. I knew I was in love with him months ago, but denied it. My mind struggled with what was right and wrong. I had a difficult time with what was acceptable by society for a while. What do I owe society, anyway? Society teaches us to act and think in a certain way.
People may call us crazy or weird if our ideas or interests don't fit in with what society considers normal. Becca's judgment worried me more than anyone else's. I didn't disclose my feelings toBecca when I was having a tough time dealing with the separation. I kept it bottled up.
I didn’t want her to think I was nuts. My shrink was my sounding board, and she was useless. I decided it’s my life and will live it however I choose. I will deal with Becca when the time comes, and I stopped seeing the shrink a while ago.
I felt as if an enormous weight had lifted from my shoulders. I love Atlas—end of story.
I know he has a volatile temper, and he kills people for a living, but he doesn't killgoodpeople. He is ridding society of pure evil. The way he took me was wrong, and no matter what others may think, he still makes the world a little safer for women by taking out human traffickers.
I will never condone the kidnapping, but I can forgive him for it. I can forgive him for many things he initially subjected me to because he was desperate.
His obsession was that intense.
Maybe he is a psycho, but he is my psycho, and he never really hurt me. Once I spent time with him, I knew he wouldn’t severely injure me. He spanked me and used the strap, but he also pleasured me, and I liked it; I just wasn't willing to accept the truth back then.
I used to be a cutter. The pain helped me escape my life. I grew up in a dysfunctional household with a drug-addicted mother who didn't care about me.
No one cared about my welfare except the man sitting next to me with a huge grin on his face. I know he can't wait to drape me over his lap, and neither can I.
Maybe I was crazy, but it didn’t matter. Atlas and I could be nuts together. Just looking at him makesme wet. My sex throbbed at the thought of being spanked. I crave him. I want all that he can give me and more.
I want to submit to him one hundred percent. Maybe we can negotiate the kid thing. I am even willing to become a cat lady if I can't persuade him to change his mind. I was so miserable without him in my life that some days I didn't even want to get out of bed. This is a fucked-up world. Maybe Atlas is correct. Bringing kids into it may not be a good idea. I grabbed his large hand in my small one, smiling happily for the first time in months. I have never felt more clear-headed than I do right now.
