Why was I crying? Wasn't this my plan all along? I wanted this. I needed this, yet I felt an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. Would I miss him? Do I love this man? I squeezed my eyes tightly, willing the thoughts away. Thereis no way in hell I could love this man. He is too wicked and controlling for me.
No matter how much I tried to convince myself how awful he was, I couldn’t hold back the tears and cried softly into his chest. He never uttered a single word.
He just stroked my hair for a minute, allowing me to have my feelings.
When I finally shed the last drop, he released me, walking away without looking back. Why did I feel so miserable if I was so happy to be home?
I think the first thing I need to do besides call Becca is make an appointment with a damn shrink. I needed to talk to a professional because my heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces, and I didn't understand why.
Chapter 38
Atlas
Leaving my pet was one of the most challenging things I have ever done, and I have done many difficult things in my life. Her tears always turned me on, but that was only when I was dominating her and making her do nasty things with me.
I felt anything but turned on right now. Her emotions twisted my insides, causing me to exit as quickly as possible. I needed to leave sooner rather than later. I had to get away and work on keeping my obsessive thoughts of her under control.
I know I could have forced her to stay with me, but I needed to set her free as much as she needed to be free. Iwasn'tmy father. I wouldnotturn Kits' life into a living hell like he did with my mother.
Of course, her life with me differed from my mother's, but what was the point if she remained miserable most of the time? I miscalculated how she would respond to being sterilized. I didn't factor in her reaction, which became anightmaretoday. Ihave to keep my eye on her. She is too reckless to be allowed so much freedom with her slutty friend Becca.
There are a lot of crazy guys out there who would harm my little pet. Although I was always honest with her, I lied about the cameras.
Her safety concerned me. I told her I would not stalk her, but I never told her my guys wouldn't track her. I never disclosed my security business, either. She does not know that my company provides the cameras. Just because I let her go, and I was more than accommodating and gentle with her, doesn't mean shit. I can be exceedingly kind to her when it's warranted, but I still have a very dark, violent side.
That will never change. As for John? He has quite a surprise coming. He tried to hurt my pet, and I couldn’t allow him to be free without a warning.
NO. FUCKING.WAY.
I will take care of him after the hit tonight. I won't kill him, but he may wish for death for what I have in store for the bottom feeder. She told me she would have the tracker in her arm removed, and I let her know it was her choice, of course, and that she didn't need me to keep tabs on her anymore.
I never disclosed the one in her neck, and I never will.
My obsession with her didn't just miraculously go away in two hours. I will never be free from her…ever, but I can live with this if I can keep my eye on her.
I don't want to know about the men she dates because that will only piss me off. We don't need a trail of dead bodies all over the place.
She'll instantly know it's me. The tears fell when I left her. She cried when she had me subdued andcould have taken her revenge on me, and she didn't; then, she cried when she was packing her things to go back home.
I'd say my pet had feelings for me if I didn't know any better. AmIin love? I can't say that Iloveher.
Being away from my pet hurts terribly, but that's always been a problem because I'm fixated on her. I know she has me a little twisted up emotionally, and I care about her well-being, but love? I don't think so. I still consider her my play toy, but one with valid feelings now.
We spent close to 6 weeks together, and I almost had her where I wanted, but it wasn't enough time to condition her thoroughly; then I got all fucking mushy and let her go. I shook my head. I grabbed my cell and dialed my partner. After three rings, he picked up.
“What's up, boss?”
"Hey Jacob, there’s no need for you to accompany me on the job tonight. It’s covered. I am sure it will be a simple mission.
“Are you sure, boss?”
“Yes. I need you to bring me the boy you've been tracking instead. Use the syringe on him tonight if you need to. Blindfold him on the ride to my house if he's not unconscious. Deposit his sorry ass in my bedroom. Handcuff him to the chain hanging from the ceiling. Make sure you gag him and cover your face. I don't want him to be able to identify you if I decide to release him. Stay with him until I return from the hit. I want him naked as well."
I heard a snort at the other end of the call.
"Sure, boss. What do you have in mind for him?”
I laughed. "Nothing he is going to enjoy, I'll tell you that. I will allow you free access to him for your good work."
