“What?”
Rustle of laughter, the line crackling. “I’m just messing with you.”
I pulled the phone from my ear and stared at it as if expecting the tiny screen to reveal the man’s face to me. “Kai?” I realized. “How on earth did you get my phone number?”
“I have my sources,” he said, sounding rather pleased with himself, or perhaps with the extent of my bewilderment.
“Well, it’s late and you woke me up,” I grumbled.
“What are you talking about? It’s barely nine,” he protested.
Grudgingly, I muttered, “Beauty sleep.”
Kai paused to gauge the validity of this information, and when he spoke again I could practically hear the worried frown in his voice. “Are you sure you’re not sick or something?”
“I’m fine,” I sighed, returning to the comfort of the floor, my hand coming to rest atop my stomach.
“Okay. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t—” A sudden flurry of laughter made the line all fuzzy with sound distortion again. “For fuck’s sake, will you keep it down?” I heard Kai yell good-naturedly at several someones only to entice yet another roar of activity.
“Where are you?” I asked, some of my grogginess giving way to curiosity.
“Sullivan’s.”
“The bar?”
“Yeah.”
The long, awkward silence that followed felt like we were stuck in one of those dreadful elevator rides, the phone growing hot and almost vibrating in my hand with every slow-passing second.
Clearing his throat, he clarified, “I’m just having a beer with the guys from the office. I’m sorry I didn’t invite you—”
“It’s okay,” I reassured him quickly. Too quickly, perhaps. “It’s not like we’re friends or anything.”
“Ouch.”
“Well, we’re not.”
Another stretch of tense silence came between us.If only I had a drop of his social graces, I caught myself thinking, although, deep down, I didn’t regret speaking my mind.
I admired Kai but didn’t envy him. I didn’t want to be him. I didn’t want to be tied down by social obligations or assume a persona that would please the most amount of people possible. I had enough friends to always have someone to call when I wanted to go out for a drink or try a new restaurant or catch the latest show, and at the same time enough freedom to enjoy my solitude without having anyone to complain to me about it. That was what I truly wanted. To live comfortably within the peace and familiarity of my own company. A book and a cup of tea on the nightstand, and the radio playing for me all night long.
Suddenly, Kai’s voice sounded clearer, louder, as though he’d gone somewhere more private. “What are you doing right now?” he asked.
I groaned at the ceiling. “Are you kidding me?”
“Right, right. Sleeping like a grandmother.”
“Okay, I’m hanging up.”
“Wait,” he called out, half-laughing into the receiver in a way that felt strangely intimate. “Do you want to come here?”
“Come where?” I asked stupidly.
“Sullivan’s.”
“But… why?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Anya,” he sighed. “Why do people do anything?” The noise of wheels rolling down the tramway track sounded from his end of the line. Then some laughter again, a bit of music, the door of the bar opening and closing, probably. “Look, I’m bored to death here, and I really feel like talking to you tonight. Is that a good enough reason for you?”
