“Yeah,” she says too tightly.“Let’s just… get dinner.I’m hungry.”
But her hand slips from mine minutes later.Not angrily.Not dramatically.
Just… slips.
And that small, quiet motion feels worse than a fight.
It feels like a warning, a premonition.
I have this dream that I can't shake, at first it was a happy moment, Tessa sitting on her front porch pregnant and waiting for me.A vision I never knew I wanted, until I saw it with perfect clarity.But lately, that vision, that moment, feels like it is slipping away.Like some force that I am not sure I believe in is trying to warn me.
Tonight, I have to tell her everything.Because if I don’t, I’m going to lose her.I just know it.This foreboding feeling has been sinking in my gut, and I don't see how we get out of this unharmed.I know I cannot lose her.But I also know I cannot push back on my contract without massive consequences, the clauses, the claws the franchise has in me without penalty.Without losing something.
I am going to tell her, and she will understand.Tessa is level-headed.It will all be ok.That is the only way I can walk away with everything I need.
We are walking into my penthouse, she shrugs out of her jacket, her braid sliding forward over her shoulder, eyes soft but tired.She looks at me like she’s still here… but further away than she should be.I step toward her.I have to do this.She is slipping away.“Tess… I need to talk to you.”
Her eyes lift, dark blue eyes, the colour of the deep ocean, lock onto mine.
“I should’ve told you sooner,” I say.“It’s about..."
My phone rings, cutting me off.We are in this weird holding moment while my phone rings.I don't want to look at it.I need to stay focused.I need to tell her.
The ringing finally stops, and I let out a deep breath.Tessa, beautiful, perfect Tessa, steps forward, a reassuring hand on my chest, "Is everything okay?"
I open my mouth and close it.I know this is it.We need to talk.I need to get this off my chest so we can move forward with everything out in the open, and this fear hanging over me is gone.I cannot lose her.I cannot lose our future...the dream.
My phone goes off again.She drags her hand across my chest to my arm and gives me a comforting squeeze, "Answer it, Nate, it is probably important."
I pull my phone out, and it's my agent.I hesitate, and she sees it.She reassuresme."It's ok."
Her voice is tired in a way I feel in my bones.But she is smiling or at least trying to.
I stand frozen, knowing I should push forward.I should say it anyway.I should unload everything.But the fear grips my throat, and I...freeze.I can't, because a part of me knows that I am too deep now.That if she finds out...
So, like a coward, I nod.
I take the call and move to my office, trying to give space and hold it together.I listen to my agent, but my heart, my everything, isnotin this room.She deserves honesty, and I keep choosing comfort over truth, because truth feels like the thing that will break us.
I sit in the dark for a while after the call is over.Enjoying this moment of peace.
Eventually, I walk back out looking for her.I find Tessa asleep on my couch, curled up, snuggling one of my sweaters.I should wake her.I should tell her everything.But I just stand there in the dark watching her.Hating myself for the quiet coward I’m becoming.
It is so quiet I can hear the tick of my watch.It feels like I am Captain Hook, and the ticking clock is my warning.Because I know that every day I stay silent, every day, I let her walk around in my world blind, every day I let fear make the choices…
…I lose her a little more.
And I think she already feels it.
I watch her in this quiet, peaceful moment, then pick her up, and she instinctively tucks her head into my chest, under my chin, as if we are a puzzle that finally fits, like she needs me as much as I need her.So, I hold on to that thought, to the feel of her wrapped in my arms and to the hope that love is enough to carry us through this.
Chapter 29 - Nate
Thanksgiving on my family's farm always hits before I’m ready for it.This year, I can actually go.It's early October, with cold mornings and frost that starts to cling to the fence rails like lace.The smell of wood smoke drifts from the chimney long before the sun finishes climbing over the ridge.A realization hits me, I’ve missed this, missed all of it.
But it never feels more like home than when Tessa’s hand is tucked inside mine.
Tessa was invited to too many family dinners to count.This community, the families all adore her.But she chose to be with me today.The fact that she could be anywhere or be with anyone, but she wants to be with me, with my family...It warms my chest, like a shot of whiskey.
