But where does that leave me?
I worked so fucking hard to get where I am.
To get the 'C', the first line ice time, the salary, the fans and sponsors.I can feel it all slipping away.I feel out of control, and that is not me.Maybe Brielle and I weren't the kind of love my parents have, but I knew what to expect at least...until I didn't.
Fuck.
I fist bump people on the way to my garage, pulling out what Reeves needs and grabbing my first beer of the day.I crack the cap and take a swig.It's ice cold and settles something in me.I take a deep breath and walk back outside, smile wide and head held high.
Placing everything on the countertop built in beside my grill, I take it all in. This is good, this is fun.A girl locks eyes with me, she's in a skin-tight dress, heels and a full face of makeup at the lake.She gives me what I am sure is supposed to be a sexy grin.But she looks uncomfortable, or maybe she's trying too hard.
Wait, do I know her?Likeknowherknowher.
Fuck I need to get it together.
Her friend joins her and struts up to the barbecue.Reeves makes a disgusted grunt kind of sound.He hates puck bunnies, and I know there is a story there somewhere.I think it has something to do with Olivia's mom.But we haven't really gotten close enough to talk like that. The one I may have fucked, makes her way over to me, trying to sway her hips, but her heels keep catching.She stumbles into me and tries to make it work to her advantage by grabbing onto my arm and squeezing with a giggle, "So strong!"
The other one tries to start a conversation with Reeves, and his response is a simple, "Not going to happen."
I suppress a laugh while trying to figure out how to remove the girl still attached to me.
Then I hear the sound of a truck I would know anywhere.
I look to my driveway to see two vehicles pulling in: my parents’ truck, and behind it, a familiar old baby blue Chevy.
No fucking way.
They came?
I move to the edge of the deck, beer bottle dangling loose in my hand.
Kenzie’s the first one out of the blue truck parked behind my parents, all red sundress and bare feet, carrying a pie like she’s about to walk into Sunday dinner instead of my chaos.She spots me immediately and waves, that same bright grin she’s had since she was little, pure, unfiltered joy.
I can feel some of the guys gathering behind me.Like they can sense what's to come.
Eli exits my dad's truck, arms crossed, wearing a flannel that’s seen more grease than detergent, over a worn white t-shirt and swim trunks.He clocks the girls in barely there bikinis, the drinks, the loud music and his jaw tightens.
Then Tessa steps out of the Chevy.She's in cut-off jean shorts that sit low on her hips, a white crop tee.Her hair is loose from her earlier braid, wild and free, strands escaping in the breeze.She looks like she belongs in the kind of summer people write songs about, honest, unhurried, real.Every single thing about her is the opposite of this party.And maybe that’s why I can’t look away.And by the crowd of guys that are now suddenly interested in the barbecue, I would say I am not the only one.
They head toward the deck, and the noise shifts.A few of the girls glance over, the kind who measure attention like currency, glance at Tessa, and exchange looks that could cut glass.I have been so focused on her that I didn't notice my parents getting out.Until Kenzie gives me a look and I realize that I still have a girl attached to my arm.
I shake her off and take a few steps towards my family.Mom reaches me first.Her arms wrap around me in a hug that still smells like lemon and laundry that dried on the line, familiar in a way that undoes me.
“I forgot how loud your parties can be,” she says with a soft smile.Her tone is kind, but her eyes are scanning the scene.
"This isn't even loud yet.It's just a party."I try not to sound defensive but fuck it feels like they are never happy with me.
Her eyes scan the house.“It’s beautiful, Nathaniel.”She says my name the way only she does, full, proper, lined with love and something that feels like sadness.
Dad’s right behind her.
“Nathaniel.”His voice is a handshake you don't ignore.He doesn’t hug me.The look he gives the girls giggling by the railing says everything.He takes in the lake, the house, the noise.“You sure this is you?”
I force a grin.“I'm sure.”
He hums, low, unreadable and then moves around the growing crowd towards Reeves.
Eli’s next, carrying a large cooler."Where can I place this?"he asks.
