My living room, the one I’d intentionally left almost untouched since coming back, was not the same.
My old sagging couch was gone.In its place sat a new sectional, wide and soft-looking, with plush, deep cushions and a throw blanket folded neatly over the back.There was a glider in the corner, upholstered in a soft, oatmeal fabric, a tiny side table beside it with a lamp that cast a warm, golden pool over the floor.
There were baskets.
And folded baby blankets.
And a small shelf with board books lined up like teeth.
My heart slammed against my sternum.
“Wh… who....what did you do?”I whispered.
Behind me, people started shuffling up the steps, carrying gifts.Their voices floated toward me, happy, busy, muffled.
I took a step into the room and felt the floor tilt.
“What did you do?”I said louder.My voice sounded wrong in my own ears.“Why did you touch anything?”
Maggie came in behind me, setting a bag on the new couch.“Sweetheart, we just wanted to...”
“Where’s my couch?”I demanded.
“Tessa...”
“Where is my dad’s chair?”My voice hit a new decibel as panic crawled up my throat.I spun around, wild.“Where is it?Why has everything changed?”
John started to say something, but my ears were ringing.Heat crawled up my neck, into my face, behind my eyes.
“This is my house,” I choked.“My space.The one place no one had changed, no one had turned into a story or a photo or a… what did you do?”
“Tess...”Kenzie reached for me.
I jerked away.
“You had no right,” I snapped.“None of you.You don’t get to come in here and move everything around and...and...take my things...change my life...”
I knew I wasn't making sense, but it was like everything was bubbling out of me uncontrollably.
“Tessa,” Maggie said softly, eyes filling.“We just wanted...”
“I don’t care what you wanted,” I exploded.The words tore out of me, hot and shaking.“Everyone always wants something.Everyone wanted Nate to be more, to give more, to be everything to everyone until he wasn’t anything anymore...Everyone keeps taking things from me.JUST STOP TAKING THINGS FROM ME!”
Silence punched through the room.
I heard a step creak on the stairs.When I looked up, Eli was there, halfway down, hands braced on the railing.
His face was shadowed, lined with worry.
“Tessa,” he said calmly.“We didn't get rid of anything, just moved it.”
“Where?”My chest heaved.“Where is it?Take it back.Put it back where it was.I can’t...I can’t do this, I can’t come home and find everything different, I can’t lose anything else, I can’t...”
My vision tunnelled, and the room blurred.
“Hey,” Eli said, voice low, steady.He came the rest of the way down, closing the distance between us.“Look at me.”
I shook my head, backing away, but my back hit the glider.I hated the feel of it.Too soft, too unfamiliar, toonot mine.
