We were being moved forward as people screamed and cried around us.Flashes made me want to crawl into myself.
A woman reached over the rope line, wailing, “Oh my God, is that HER?That’s her, she’s the one he loved!”
Flashbulbs exploded in every direction, and questions were shouted at us like gunfire:
“How far along are you?”
“Were you two engaged?”
“Is it true he was retiring for you?”
“Do you want to say a few words about his legacy?”
“Was the pregnancy planned?”
My stomach turned so violently I had to stop, and I bent over, bracing my hands on my knees.It felt like it was too much; I couldn't breathe.I stood up and stumbled.I heard someone yell for me; they sounded frantic, but then I felt hands on me.Relief was instant and disappeared just as quickly.Because hands were grabbing at me.Someone grabbed my coat sleeve; another palmed my stomach.
Eli reacted first; he stepped between the crowd and me with a force I’d never seen from him before.He shoved a man’s hand away so hard the guy stumbled back, bringing a wave of people with him.John appeared out of nowhere, pulling me behind him, as Kenzie and Maggie pulled me between them.
“BACK UP!”Eli roared.
He was a wall, wide, furious, shaking, and I realized he was seconds away from losing control.
Chase came up beside me and grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him.
“Tessa, stay close.DoNOTlet go of me, do you hear me?”
I nodded, but I wasn’t really in my body.The noise felt like a hive of bees trapped inside my skull.People kept shouting:
“You’re carrying his child!”
“She’s the girlfriend!”
“Look at her belly, she’s showing!”
“The baby’s part of his legacy!”
“Can you smile for one photo?Please?”
Smile...
Smile?
I felt something break, something shift.This wasn’t grief, this wasn’t mourning...this was consumption.They wanted pieces of him.Pieces of us.Pieces of my child.
Everything was moving around me in fragments.
Eli shoved someone back who had reached too far.John shouted at security to"do their fucking jobs".
I got pulled away again, and everything spun.But then I saw Kenzie; she fought through the crowd to reach me, tears streaming down her face, yelling at a reporter who tried to snap a close-up.
I heard someone yell: “GET THAT SHOT!”
And that was the moment everything inside me snapped.I turned toward the sea of cameras and microphones and open mouths, throat burning, vision sharp and shaking.
“STOP!”I screamed.
The crowd jerked back.Theylooked offended.
