“I’m going to pretend,” I say softly, “that you didn’t just say that.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I’m already standing.“Meeting’s over.”
He calls something after me, some threat, some dig, but it barely registers.The only thing that matters now is getting to her.I burst out of the back doors of the arena into the cold.
The sky is heavy with low clouds, snow hanging on the edge of a storm.The air stings my lungs, but I welcome it, anything to ground me.
I need to hear it from her.I know she wasn't keeping this from me because she didn't want to tell me.I know this must be what she said she had to tell me tonight.
I hurt her, broke her trust and then...but none of that matters anymore because she is carrying my child.Hope swells in my chest so violently it hurts.
I get in my truck; my hands shake as I shove the key into the ignition.
Tonight, everything will change.
I’ll tell her I’m choosing a life with dirt and sunlight and her voice in my ears instead of noise and pressure and false narratives written by people who don’t know me.
Tonight, I get to make things right.
Tonight, she will tell me I am going to be a dad.
The engine turns, the truck rumbles to life.I pull out of the parking lot, tires crunching over old snow.The road stretches out in front of me, empty but somehow promising.
For the first time in a long time, I’m not afraid of the future because I know exactly where I’m going.I am going home, to Tessa, to my baby, to the life I should have chosen all along.
With a smile on my face, I press down on the gas, and I drive.
Chapter 44 - Tessa
Every moment since I got Nate's call has felt like a countdown.
I don’t remember brushing my hair or putting on mascara and concealer to hide how exhausted I am...or packing my notebook into my truck, but I must’ve, because I did the rounds.Farm to farm, door to barn door, the same quiet explanation, “I’m taking a little time off.Someone else will be stepping in for a bit.I’ll be back.”
I said it with a steady voice, even though nothing in me felt steady.They all nodded, told me to rest up, told me I deserved a break, and told me to come back when I was ready.I smiled and thanked them.
At each and every stop, I repeated the words like a script I’d rehearsed in the dark.
But inside, I was counting heartbeats, counting minutes until I went home to wait for him, got to see him...tell him.The truth sat in my chest like a trembling, secret thing.A tiny heartbeat that flickered like a star in the night captured on the ultrasound photo tucked into my jacket pocket.A truth that felt too big and too fragile to say out loud.
The space had been good for me, I was able to piece out my hurt and past from what had happened and what I still felt for Nate.After everything I knew, I still loved him, and that meant we needed a big conversation to move forward.
By the time I turned into the Carson driveway, the last stop before home, my palms were damp on the wheel.The house looked the same as always: wide porch, boots by the door, a pickup half-covered in frost.It should’ve comforted me, but it didn’t.If anything, it set my nerves off...they weren't just one of my clients, the family that took me in and treated me as one of their own...they were going to be the grandparents to my child.To a child, I was walking right into their house, and nobody knew. John opened the door before I even knocked, brow creasing with that fatherly warmth he never tried to hide.
“Tessa,” he said, ushering me in from the cold.“Good to see you, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart.The word nearly undid me.
“I won’t take up much of your time,” I managed.“I just wanted to let you know I’m taking some time off work.A few weeks, maybe longer.The clinic has coverage, and the shelters do too.Nothing will be left hanging.”
He studied me for a long moment, like he could see the exhaustion under my makeup and the way my sweater hung differently than usual.
“This because of Nate?”he asked quietly.“Because if it is, Tessa… you don’t need to walk away from us, from our work together.He..."
My throat tightened, and I closed my eyes for a minute, trying to center myself.
"Shit, I am sorry, Tessa, you don't owe us any explanations.We care about you the same either way.”
I opened my eyes and saw a soft look I don't ever think I have seen on John's face before,
