“I guess… we’re really doing this.”
My fingers curl protectively.
“I cannot promise you what our future looks like, little one...But I’ll figure it out.I always do.”
The words echo softly in the small bathroom.
And for the first time since New Year’s, something inside me steadies.
Because this little life is mine to protect, mine to love, and I will do everything in my power to do it right.
Chapter 41 - Tessa
The past two days have felt like some weird out-of-body experience, a dream-like state where I am trying to process and work through my feelings.I know I need to tell Nate.I know there is a lot we need to talk about.But I need to know for sure.I need to confirm this, have all the information, so when I go to him, I am ready.
What that means at this point, I am not exactly sure.But it all feels like too much.I don’t know how I made the appointment.Somewhere between the test turning positive and the sun dropping behind the ridge, my body moved without asking my permission.Fingers dialling the clinic number.Voice answering questions I barely heard.Feet carrying me to the truck.
Summit City feels sharp and glossy when I pull into the parking lot.The clinic’s glass doors reflect back a version of me I barely recognize, pale, tired, wrapped in Nate’s old hoodie because when I stood crying in my closet, it was the only thing I wanted to wear.
I check in, sit down and fold into myself.The waiting room smells like antiseptic and winter coats.A baby fusses somewhere behind a partition.Someone scrolls through Instagram with their sound on, tinny little pops of audio bouncing around.
My stomach flips so hard I press my hand against it.
The nurse calls my name.Inside the exam room, everything feels too quiet.The doctor is kind, middle-aged, with a warm smile, the kind of presence that makes you want to cry for no reason.She looks over the forms, the notes I scribbled: irregular periods, nausea, dizziness, stress.
“Your at-home test was positive?”she asks gently.
I nod.
“Let’s take a look then.I will check your hormone levels, and we’ll do a dating scan, make sure everything looks healthy.”
Everything inside me goes still, but I force myself to keep going.I lie back, lift my shirt, and try to breathe as the gel hits my skin.
She moves the wand; I squeeze my eyes closed and then...
There’s a sound.A fast, steady thumping.
I blink away tears and swallow hard.My throat tightens instantly.
“That’s the heartbeat,” she says softly.“Strong and clear.”
I cover my mouth with my hand because I wasn’t ready.Not forthis.Not for the proof that it’s real.That inside me is something alive and bright and beating, as if it were always meant to be.Tears slip sideways into my hair.
“You’re measuring about seventeen weeks,” the doctor continues.“Which puts your due date around mid-July.”
Seventeen weeks, I’m almost halfway...I had no idea.
My entire body is cold and hot at once.The doctor keeps speaking, but her voice feels muffled, like I’m underwater.
“Blood pressure is low...explains your dizziness.I’m prescribing something safe for nausea.Avoid riding horses for now.Light work only.And eat saltier foods.Pickles help.”
She laughs.
I try to, but it comes out choked.My fingers tremble when she hands me the ultrasound photos.One has the profile, a small nose, a round forehead, and a tiny, curled hand.The other shows the pulsing flutter of the heart.I stare so long that everything blurs.
“One for you,” the doctor says.“You can take extra copies if you’d like.”
I ask for a second copy, and she prints it out while she talks about the next steps.
