"It hurts so much."She cried into my shoulder.
The ache in my chest sharpened.The shame burned bright.I knew Clara said she didn't think of me any differently and that our situations weren't the same...but weren't they.I was causing someone else pain.I was breaking apart a family...I...
I held her tighter, knowing there was no going back, but that I had to be stronger, I had to move forward.I needed to be exactly who I dreamed of myself being, not just for me, but for my family, too.
Chapter 20
By the time November settled in, the air had that sharp edge that slipped under your coat and curled around your bones.The kind of cold that wasn't too uncomfortable, but was a gentle warning that Fall was on its way out, and snow would soon be covering the leaves on the ground until spring.Frost rimmed the edges of windshields in the mornings, and every once in a while, a thin lace of snow would fall overnight, melting by noon but leaving behind that reminder: winter was almost here.
The weeks blurred together.
At the bookstore, I unpacked holiday stock and decorated display tables while avoiding certain corners of town, avoidinghim.
For most of the month, it worked...except for when it didn't, until he got my new number.The first time, I answered without thinking, and the sound of his voice sent a cold spike through me.He was frantic.I had never heard him like that before.After that, I learned to ignore the unfamiliar numbers, though sometimes he switched them so fast that my guard slipped.
I had been barely staying at my apartment, so I only knew Andrew was still coming by because my superintendent would text me anytime he was around, and I knew to stay clear until he was gone.My whole family wanted me to get a restraining order, but Victoria's words echoed in my mind that I wasn't the first or the last woman Andrew had cheated with.I figured he'd find someone else and leave me alone.The pain that shot through my heart at the thought was intense, but the guilt and shame tempered it whenever it got too great.I loved him, I knew I did.But our love wasn't the kind I wanted; it wasn't what I had envisioned for my life.
Then came the email from his lawyer.Confirming that everything Andrew had been telling me was true, he was seeking a divorce.I sat at my kitchen table with the message open, feeling both relief and that old twist of shame.Part of me, the part that loved him, was happy he was doing what he had been promising for months...but the other part, the newer part, was yelling it wasn't enough.Hewasn't enough.Too little too late.He lied too much, took too much.
I spent more time at my parents’ house than in my apartment.On nights I wasn’t working, I was home, helping Mom peel apples for pies, watching hockey with Dad, letting Clara vent after Jackson was asleep.I took him trick-or-treating, his plastic vampire teeth making him lisp through his candy inventory, and Clara actually laughed for the first time in weeks.We celebrated Chase’s thirtieth with cake, whiskey, and Clara and me giving him grief about officially joining the “old” club.
I’d told Abby I’d stay through to the Christmas holidays.It gave her time to train someone new, and it gave me time to… figure out whatever came next.Every visit home, I brought something with me —a box of books, an armful of sweaters...until the back seat of my car became a steady rotation of my life, migrating piece by piece.
Somewhere in the middle of the month, a new publisher’s offer landed in my inbox.I’d barely glanced at it before closing my laptop.I wasn’t ready to say yes.I wasn’t even sure I could.The emails kept coming anyway, each one a polite nudge to accept.
By the end of November, my room at my parents’ was nearly back to how it had been before I left.I stood at the window, the frost feathering out from the corners of the glass, stars glinting like ice above the dark yard.I was feeling uneasy, but I told myself it was the stress and the back and forth.
Tomorrow we would go celebrate with the Palmers for the opening of Adam's pub.
By Christmas, I’d be back home, and I would know what I was doing next.
The pub was lit up like a celebration, strings of warm lights crossing the ceiling, the air thick with the smell of beer and fresh-cut wood.It was the kind of place that felt like it had been there forever, even though it was brand new, a warm, lived-in blend of rustic charm and polished intention.He’d managed to merge farm-to-table dining with the easy comfort of a neighbourhood pub, pulling from the best of what our small community had to offer.The bar top was crafted from reclaimed wood salvaged from his family’s barn, its surface burnished to a rich, golden sheen by hand.The walls held photographs of local fields in every season, old farm tools given new life as décor, and shelves lined with jars of preserves and pickles from nearby kitchens.Every menu item was a nod to something or someone in town...the Palmer's small organic farm to larger local farms.From the steaks and burgers, vegetables and preserves, bread and pastries baked fresh, honey, and so much more.Even the drink list told a story, featuring local craft beers, Canadian wines, and small-batch spirits from distilleries within a few hours’ drive.It was personal, intentional, and deeply rooted in place.Music pulsed beneath the chatter, and every table seemed full.Adam’s dream had come to life, and for a moment, I let myself feel happy for him.
We stepped inside as a group, me, Mom, Dad, Chase, and Clara, like we’d been doing this all our lives.Jackson was staying at a friend's for a sleepover.Adam’s place was packed to the rafters, but he had reserved a table near the heart of the room for us.
“I’m going to go say hi to Adam,” I told my family, smoothing my dress and ignoring the little knot of unease that had been lodged in my gut all evening.
Adam spotted me before I reached him, grinning like I’d just made his night.“Look who finally decided to grace my fine establishment,” he teased, leaning forward on his elbows.“You offering to work tonight, little Morgan?”
I smiled, the nickname pulling at old memories.“If you need help, old timer, I’m here.But I doubt you could keep up with me, and I don't want to make you feel bad.”
He barked a laugh, the sound cutting through the room, drawing a few heads our way, including Brody, who came up behind me like he’d been keeping an eye out.
“Careful,” Brody said, resting a casual hand on the bar beside me.“Chase is even more protective than normal right now.”
Adam smirked.“Oh, I’m sure I could get him to see the benefit of our families coming together.”
I snorted, Brody growled...which made Adam laugh.It was light, harmless banter… until it wasn’t.I felt it, the prickling at the back of my neck, the way the air seemed to shift.I turned, and there he was.
Andrew.
He was sitting in a booth with his body angled toward me, eyes locked on mine.Across from him sat a woman I recognized immediately, Victoria.
The moment our eyes met, his gaze dragged down me, lingering on the closeness between me, Brody, and then to Adam.My skin went cold.
Brody must’ve seen my expression because he followed my gaze and muttered, “Fuck.”
“What?”Adam’s voice was tight now.
