I don’t let him get out the excuse.“Stay, Andrew, choose me like you said you would six months ago.”
He gets up from the bed and moves closer.I step back and hold a hand out.
I know… if he gets his hands on me, I’ll cave.
I will give in and give up a little bit more of myself.
He sighs again, “Baby, I can’t not yet… You know this.”
I shake my head as the tears fall faster now.“You said you were leaving, that I just needed to give you time.To be patient with you while you figure a way out of your marriage.”
He takes a step forward, and I take one back.
“Cass, I don’t have time for this right now.Victoria messaged I need to get home.I can only say I worked so late.”
I want to scream and yell.
Because if he did what he said he would, he wouldn’t have to lie and sneak around.
He would leave her and stay with me.
The voice that has been a whisper is now starting to yell.
He’s never going to leave her.
You are wrecking their marriage.
I fucking hate that I know her name, that I know that I am the other woman.
Part of me wants to go back, back to before I knew.
Before, he looked so relieved that I found out, and he didn’t have to hide it from me anymore.
Phew, one less woman to lie to.
“It’s been a year, Andrew.”
He looks confused, so I go on.“Today… tonight… It’s been a year, you and me.”
He looks guilty and worried… no… the look disappears, and he runs his hand down his face.
“A year, Andrew… and six months since you told me you were leaving her.Since I found out that I am your dirty secret.”I choke on the words, but he needs to hear them.Hear me.
He shakes his head and moves for me.I try to step back and get out of his reach, but my back is to the wall.
He wraps his muscular arms around me and pulls me close.“Please don’t call yourself that, baby, you know I hate it.You know that’s not how I see you.”
I want to bury my face in his chest and ground myself in the smell of his cologne.
I want to give in and let him soothe this ache in my heart that won’t go away.
I want…
The shrill sound of her ring tone brings the jagged edges of our reality into focus, and I push him away, and he lets me.
Because fighting with me… for me… would take too much time.
And he needs to get home to her.
