I was so lost in the pain of the past that the relief I felt when I turned the corner and my parents' property came into view was immense.
Clara was waiting in the driveway when I pulled up.
Jackson was already seated in the back, the engine running, her window half-down as she scrolled through her phone.
They were living with our parents now, just until the divorce was finalized and Clara could find a new place.She’d said that like it was a decision she’d made calmly, on her own timeline.But I knew better.Her ex had been fighting it.Claiming they weren’t over.That they could work it out.
Clara had been very clear.
There was no coming back from what he’d done.
She hadn’t told me the full story yet, just said she would, when she had the space to breathe, when the ground stopped shaking beneath her feet.
I hadn’t pushed.What she and Mason had...Well, we all thought they were like our parents, high school sweethearts that everyone held as a couple goal.She got pregnant the last year of university and had Jackson after she graduated.
She helped Mason start up his business and then started her own.
So if she left him...If they were at a point of no return, it had to be bad.
And I understood what it felt like to live inside a moment you hadn’t processed yet.To feel like you thought you were living in a dream until you were hit with something so monumental that you realized you weren't dreaming...You were in a living nightmare.
I climbed into the front seat and gave Jackson a quick smile over my shoulder.
"Hey, buddy."
Jackson gave me a big smile and said, "Aunt Cass, I can't believe you are actually going to come to one of my games."
The guilt was immediate.I had missed so much this past year.I had pulled away from my family and let myself get lost.
"I know, buddy, I am sorry that I haven't yet.But I will make it up to you, I promise."
We pulled out of the driveway, and I looked out my window.Trying to center myself again, but the ache in my chest wouldn't let up.
Clara glanced at me.“You okay?”
I shrugged.“No.”
We drove in silence for a moment before she said, “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”
I didn’t answer.
She turned onto the road toward the rink.“Is it about the guy?The one you've been seeing?”
I hesitated, chewing the inside of my cheek.My family didn’t know much.
Just that I’d been seeing someone, I wanted to keep it private for a while.
Now that felt like shame I had sealed behind glass.
“I don’t know,” I said finally.“Maybe.Yeah.It’s about him… us.But also me.I need to think.”
Clara nodded, not pressing.Just listening.
“I think it needs to be over,” I added, softer this time.“I...it has to be.”
She looked at me again, but didn’t say anything more.
And I was grateful.
