She sucked in a shaky breath. She wanted him to be whole . . . and she wanted him, all of him, the sharp broken edges and the softer hidden places.
“It was nice tonight.” She kept her voice at that gentle whisper, the one she used with an injured, frightened animal. He darted a tight, wary look at her, and she forced a slight smile, cupping her elbows in her palms, hugging her arms in close.“Seeing you rest with your friends and not wear yourself out with the past. I’m glad you have them.”
“Yeah.” His strangled voice was like velvet dragged over jagged rocks, tearing in places. “Me, too.”
Half-turning, she lifted a finger in the direction of her house. “Do you want to stay the night?”
He stilled, a sense of anticipation gathered about him like electricity before he shrugged. “I left Ralph in the backyard.”
“Oh.” She hated the idea of him going back to the cabin, isolated and alone. She was in deep with him, entwined in a way she’d never been with Scott, after only a few weeks. “I get it.”
His throat moved with a hard swallow. “You could bring Polo and stay at my place again.”
Her breath caught, relief crashing through her. “I’d like that.”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Me, too.”
“I can do slow, Colt.” Fingers knitted together, she bounced her hands against her thighs. She moistened her bottom lip and jumped in. “But I have those issues from my daddy, right? The ones about feeling unwanted and uncertain. Can we be finished with the back-and-forth part where you want to be with me but feel like you shouldn’t? I know we have emotions to work out, but that part makes me feel insecure, and I hate it.”
“I’m sorry.” If anything, the skin about his lips paled further.
Clutching her knuckles until they ached, she shook her head. “I don’t need an apology. I need to know we’re both committed and you won’t give in to your fear then up and leave me.”
For a long moment, he gazed at her, and her insides twisted like her hands. Seriously, though. She couldn’t live like this, in limbo with him. She’d done that forever with her father, then with Scott.
With Colt? The sensation was worse, testament to those burgeoning strong feelings she refused to define yet. Sheneededhim to be in with her.
“No.” Shaking his head, he levered off the tailgate and stepped forward, almost close enough to touch. “I won’t leave you.”
“You promise?”
“I do.” One corner of his mouth quirked, almost a smile. “And you know all us Calvert boys are raised to keep our promises.”
“Yes, I do.” She took a step, lifting her fisted hands to rest on his chest. Gentle hands landed at her hips, a barely-there embrace. She lifted her gaze scant inches to hold his, dark and serious, steady and fathomless. “I think it’s allweCalvert boys.”
A light gleamed in his eyes, and this quirk of his lips was indeed a smile, a slight curve of his mouth that she felt all the way through her. He shifted a hand, long fingers curved about her nape, thumb brushing her earlobe in a butterfly-wing of a caress. “So I’ll see you at the cabin.”
“You will.” Flexing her fingers, she spread them over his chest, his heartbeat a steady thud under her palm. She lifted her face, seeking his kiss, their lips meeting in a gentle promise. “I’ll meet you there.”
Chapter Thirteen
Colt woke to early morning dimness, the mercury light dancing with the shadows of wind-ruffled leaves on the wall, competing with the first glow of the rising sun. Holly was warmth tucked along his spine, her thighs and knees fit to his, her arm over his waist, hand splayed on his belly beneath his navel. Sweet magnolia and orange blossom blended with sunshine and fresh air, wrapping around him like his sheets wrapped them up.
He was hard, a combination of having her pressed near and the lazy caress of her fingertips swept along the sensitive skin between his obliques. His balls and belly heavy with arousal, he stretched. Her hand drifted lower, beneath the band of his boxers, playing with the upper line of his pubic hair, tracing the crease where his thigh met his groin, leaving weighted anticipation in the wake of her touch.
Gentle fingers swept along his hard-on, a wave of sensation singing along his nerves, and he shuddered, a hiss escaping between his teeth. Her drowsy laugh shimmered over his shoulder blade.
He laid his hand over hers, pressing her to a firmer touch. “Lord, that feels good.”
So good that giving in would be easy. He wanted to, but he had that whole rule about not making the same mistake twice.
Sketching a caress over her wrist, he rolled to his back, dislodging her touch. Still on her side, she propped on her elbow. He caught a stray lock of golden hair and wrapped the silky strands around his finger.
“The only place Tyler and I really got anything right was in bed, and that didn’t last long.” Her little jolt of surprise vibrated through him. Probably real smart of him to be bringing thisup while they were in bed, but her pained honesty about her insecurity in Andy’s driveway had gutted him. He meant to give her what she needed, from this point onward. “We went there too fast, so we didn’t see everything we couldn’t get right.”
Her fingertips landed against his ribs, a light brush of skin on skin. “And you think we’d be the same?”
“I already know we’re better.” He covered her hand, rubbing his thumb over her wrist. “But I learned from that, how a strong initial physical attraction can hide things.”
