“Here you go,” I mumble, quickly picking the rag back up.
“I said thirty. This is a ten. What the hell?”
Shaking my head clear, I take the weight back and get the correct one. “Sorry, man. Distracted, big test today,” I lie.
“I get that,” he replies, quickly taking the weight from me.
The rest of my shift went the same way. If I wasn’t forgetting to give a towel to someone, it was the wrong weight or I fucked up with students opening a membership and accidentally cancelling one. Yeah, to say the entirety of my shift was an epic fuck up is to say the least. It didn’t help that my boss was glaring at me as he caught each and every mistake I made. I’m really starting to worry I may not have a job after today.
When I finish with my shift, I haul ass across campus to my first and only class of the day. Thank god. If I had more I don’t know if I could handle it.
I slide into my desk just as the professor steps into the classroom and quickly opens my laptop. Just seeing the screen has me immediately thinking about last night again. I was only supposed to watch the stream so I could tell Tanner that I checked it out. Not for me to subscribe to CottonCandy’s site. Curiosity was all it was meant to be, but then I don’t know what happened. Maybe, a heat of the moment thing that made me now fifteen dollars poorer. I don’t want to even think about next month, I was barely making it as it was.
But the way she smiled into the camera, it was as if she was looking at me and no one else. When she said my name, it didn’t feel like she was putting on a show. It was like there was no one there but me and her. Maybe it’s why I even commented. But that isn’t me. She doesn’t even know me from Sam. I’m just another idiot dishing out money to her, increasing her bank account while depleting mine.
It’s not real. Just a fantasy.
I need to remember that. Work, school, that's my reality.
I’ve worked too hard to get where I am. Graduation is so close I can taste it. Then I firmly plan to work for a major sports team. Any will do. I’m not that picky.
Everything in my life has been built on discipline — from juggling a full college course load in sports medicine, working the gym counter, and scraping by as a personal trainer on the side. Scholarships. Helping out my family back home when I can. I don’t have time for crushes, hookups, distractions. Especially not some girl on a porn app who doesn’t know or care who I am.
Work, school, grind — no room for stupid crushes.
And yet here I am, thinking about a girl I’ll never even meet.
There’s a shuffling of feet around me, pulling my attention. When I look up, everyone’s leaving class.
What the fuck!
See, this is what I’m talking about. A whole class passed without me knowing. The entire lecture was lost and now I’ll have to scramble to figure out what the professor discussed. Why? All because of a girl on a screen.
Standing from the desk, I grab my bag and head out the classroom, wanting to kick myself in the ass for daydreaming.
I’ve just stepped out the door when my phone vibrates in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see a text from Tanner.
Tanner: Bro, how’s your BTL subscription treating you?
I roll my eyes, slipping the phone back in my pocket and ignoring it. I’m ready to go back to my dorm room and crash. But not even fifteen seconds after I’ve ignored the message, my phone vibrates again. As much as I want to ignore it again, I know he’ll keep bugging my ass.
Tanner: Well? Come on man tell me.
Me: I didn’t subscribe.
It’s a lie but he doesn’t need to know.
Tanner: Bullshit. Fucking tell that to someone who’ll believe it.
I think about it for a second, then shoot a message back to him.
Me: Mind your business.
Tanner: Ok, dude. That tells me everything I need to know. My only question now is who did you subscribe to?
Tanner: No, maybe it was more than 1. You better not have subscribed to my goddess. She’s mine. Get your own.
Me: I didn’t subscribe to her. Not my type. Porn isn’t my thing.
