“You’re pathetic and scared!” I seethe through the silent room, when silence falls over the room and the curiously watch me like I’m a science project that went horribly wrong. “You all are! Every last one of you are. You are one in the same! You claim you’re keeping balance and we are the ones in the wrong, but how can loving someone be so wrong? Huh? Tell me that. You won’t, because you can’t. You want to hide behind your rules and preach about order and protection, and yet here you are ready to crucify two of your own. Who is going to protect them? Huh?” I pull against the ropes and the ropes burn against my skin with agony pain.
South takes the long blade into his shaky hands, pointing it directly at North. North won’t fight him, this much I know. North considers South as his brother, his family. North drops to his knees, his eyes never straying from mine when South takes a step in his direction. “I’ll find you in the stars, Deylani. I don’t give a shit what they say they symbolize. I will burn every last one of their forsaken stars from the sky and create new ones for you. I love you.”
Tears fall from my eyes, and I jerk against the ropes again. “I love you, North. Do you hear that you pathetic wastes of space? Do our words sound dangerous? Because they’re not! You all are just scared of what might happen. The what ifs. But did you ever thing the what ifs may turn out to be beautiful? Did you ever take the time to consider that maybe you are wrong? Because I have, and guess what. You are!” By the end of my statement, I am screaming at the whole room.
“Shut her up!” Another one of the men orders, glaring at me as he pauses beside South, before approaching me.
Whack! The man backhands my face and blood spurts out of my mouth. I lick my lips and revel in the metallic taste. Good. I’m getting to them. “You roam the earth like you have something to prove.” I laugh maniacally as my head lowers, and I stare straight into his eyes. “You want the world to see what you’re doing as a gift and say you don’t ask for anything in return, but what are you doing right now? You are demanding repentance where none should be given. You want respect that you have never earned. Respect that you will never get from me. You all are scared little boys, who have no idea who you’re messing with!”
They all think I am addressing them, but he and I know the truth. The words might apply to mostly everyone in this room, but they were not meant for him. I wish we didn’t have to be here. I would have run to the end of the world with him, but that wouldn’t have been far enough. He told me in the beginning family always chooses family, and I believed him. I thought everything would be ok—I thought we would be okay. But as South lifts the blade a second time and swings, through the air, I don’t know that everything will be okay.
I helpless. I can’t save him. I scream until my body runs out of air and my body shakes from the force. No. No. No. I can’t lose him! I never thought South would be the one to do it.
“I love you, brother,” North says, and South drops the blade.
“I love you, too.” South turns, facing the others before he speaks again. “Condemn me with them because I refuse to be your weapon. If you want him dead, you’ll have to go through me to do it.”
“And you’ll have to go through us, too.” I bring life to the secret I have kept to myself. I was waiting for the right time to tell North, but that time might not have a chance to get here I’m afraid. North’s eyes connect with mine immediately and he mouths, “Us?” silently. I nod, frantically and North smiles like a fool
“Then so be it, you all will never return. From this point on you are the outcasts—the fallen. Do not ask for help, you’re on your own. The gifts that have been so graciously bestowed upon you will slowly fade as you join her. If you love her so much that you are willing to sacrifice your life’s work, then become human. You will bleed like her, and die like her.! You’ll never know happiness. You will search the world for one another, only to realize what we’re telling you today, it can’t be. One of you will always die, beginning with her.” The man beside me warns, bending down, and snatches the sword from the floor. Before I realize what is happening, he has the blade against my throat, and slices clean through both of my jugulars.
Everything is black and all I feel is nothingness. I don’t know how long I search in the darkness, but eventually, I find light, and I am born again
Without purpose.
Without knowledge of this being my second life.
Without him.
CHAPTER 14
North
When we get back to the clubhouse, I don’t bother waking Delayni. She fell asleep in the truck, and she looks so peaceful. Honestly, I would wait in the cab and let her sleep in my arms, but I need to check in with Fallout. I scoop her into my arms, carrying her to my room and lay her on the bed. I lay her out one of my shirts and pairs of pants. She will want to change out of the prison clothes. When she awakes, we both will have a lot to talk about, but for now, none of it is important. Before leaving the room, I kiss her forehead and she sighs. It is one of boredom or dismay, it is a sigh of relief. And that single noise shreds my chest apart. I stand at the bedside and silently weep. She’s finally back at my side. We have a long road ahead of us, and there is no telling how long it will take her to regain her memories, but I’ll wait for her for as long as she needs me to.
I don’t know how long I stay beside my bed, but when the tears quit falling, I wipe my face and head out. I need to talk to Fallout. There’s trouble right in our backyard, and I’m afraid they will come knocking sooner rather than later.
CHAPTER 15
North
“I don’t know if I can ever repay you, brother,” I led the conversations as soon as my eyes land on Fallout. He is facing away from the door on his bed. His door is cracked, so I let myself in, closing the door behind me.
“No need. It was my choice to control all of their minds. The price was worth the prize.”
“Meaning?” Fallout has a tendency to speak in riddles, sometimes I get what he’s saying, and sometimes I don’t. Right now, being the latter.
“Delayni is worth it. When the others slaughtered her, they didn’t only take her life, they took your unborn child’s. It went against everything rule all of us stood for. You and Delayni were adults, able to make your own decisions and mistakes. But your baby never had a chance to make even the slightest transgression…” his voice cuts off and he clears his throat, turning to face me. “I’m sorry, North. What was done can never be reversed.”
“You didn’t know, Fallout.” I manage to speak the words without crying. I never talk about our son because it’s too painful. We didn’t even know it was possible for me to get her pregnant, but life has a way of surprising you.
“No, but he did. He can sense all living things. We both know that. He knew he would be taking two lives before he murdered her. You know, Delayni was right all those years ago?”
“About what?” I take a seat in the rocking chair in the far corner of his room.
“We were scared, every damn one of us. No one had ever broken the rules before you. We had always lived under order, and I know it doesn’t excuse any one of us, but we didn’t know any different. We blindly followed him, never asking if what he taught us was wrong. I’m just sorry, North.”
“Aye, me too, brother. Me too.” I can’t tell him it’s ok, because it’s not and never will be. Fallout is no more at fault than I am. We all played our part in what happened, and we all have regrets. I let my mind drift as we sit in silence, and I rock back and forth in his chair. We should discuss what he found out, but he doesn’t seem to be in the right headspace at the moment. If we were in immediate danger, he would have told me that first and we would be having a very different conversation. I give him a moment of peace to collect himself, but if I am being honest with myself, I need it too.
