“You’re shitting me, right?”
They both shake their heads.
“Then which is the other guy, East or West?”
“Neither. That’s Two Face.”
My eyes blink slowly as I take everything in and try to process it. This feels like it is real. Very real. I was able to agree with the doctors’ skeptics of whether North existed outside of my mind when he didn’t have a name and I was the only one who had a conversation with him. But now, either I have lost every ounce of my sanity, or all of this is happening.
“It is real, little fox. All of it. I finally found you,” North admits, bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing the back of my hand.
Confusion wraps around my body, and I cannot shake free from it. Seeing as North seems to know what I am thinking, there’s no point not to voice my concerns. “What do you mean finally found me? Was it not you with me for all of these years?”
“Years?” North and South both cough.
I nod, “Yes, years. At first you terrified me, but after a while, you became my safe space. I never know how I get to you and rarely how I return, only that I’ve been with you…or at least I thought it was you.”
“it was, but it’s complicated,” North explains. “It was me who was there, but unlike you, I didn’t remember being there.”
“But why rescue me if you don’t know me? If you don’t remember, then why rescue me?” The questions pour out of me faster than I can process the. I’m crumbling inside and it is undeniable from the outside. I don’t know where they are taking me or what they have in store for me once we arrive.
“Because, Little Fox, You and I, well, all of us really, have known each other for much longer than the dreams you recall. Before we found each other in our dreams, we found each other over and over again.”
“How do we keep losing each other?” He’s not making any sense. You can’t lose a person as easily as you can a remote. A person is not an object.
“We die and come back to life, but the one who dies forgets the others existence.”
“Hold up. We die?”
He nods as if he has not just told me we’ve both died and come back to life. I gnaw on the inside of my lower lip, not sure how to respond.
North releases my hand and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him, he guides my head against his chest. “it’s a lot to process, but if you’re willing, I’ll help you understand. It’s going to take time, but right now, you need to rest. You have to be exhausted.”
I am, but I would not dare admit it to anyone. Maybe if I close my eyes for a quick nap, everything will make sense. I doubt it, none of these things are topics that can be taken easily in stride or discussed over morning coffee to me. But judging by how he so easily explained them, they must be normal things to North. South wasn’t fazed by the information at all, so it must not be anything new to him either.
I nod against his chest, not sure if saying anything else right now would help clear anything up or only muddle them further.
CHAPTER 13
Leila
DREAM OF THE PAST
North’s hand cups my shoulder, forcing me onto my knees before him. I swore I would never allow any man—No! That no one would ever bend me to their will ever again, and yet, I do not fight him. I submit to him, giving him my last piece of vulnerability.
His dark brown eyes have a hint of amusement behind them, but quickly return to their normal frigid state. Neither of us want to be here, doing what we are doing, especially with an audience. It’s what we have practiced for, though. This moment is one we both knew would come and yet, being here actually living it, doesn’t make it any easier.
The knowledge and pure hate don’t stop my wrists from crossing over one another as the fingertips of my lover ties a thick rope around them. He is not gentle. The rage his heart holds for them is unmistakable by the fibers digging into my wrists. The feeling is mutual. Despite being deprived of the decency to be treated like a human I refuse to let them hear the pained whimpers burst out of my lips. I clamp them between my teeth in protest. I will not give them the satisfaction that they crave—I won’t let them break me. I refuse to let them see my vulnerability. They already think we shouldn’t be together. I won’t give them another reason to add to their list.
Every set of eyes in this long judgement room are on me and they all have the same emotion behind them. Hunger. Like a pack of blood thirsty wolves, they each circle, waiting for their turn to rip me to shreds and get their pound of flesh.
“Finally! A filthy Fox came out of hiding and fell into your trap. Attah boy!” A loud voice booms as he praises North, clapping him on the back with an open palm.
I had heard it countless time from North:
Angles and Outcasts do not mix.
But I never understood the seriousness behind his words until today. Everything has a place in the world and there are certain things that were never intended to mix, much less fall in love—Apparently, we fell into that category.
