There was nothing I could say to that, just a hum of agreement.
Cass nodded and turned back to the screen. "This might take a while." He picked up his milkshake to take a sip before staringat it like he hadn't realized it was there. He gave me a faint smile and went on sipping.
"You know what'd be really good right now?" Boner asked. "An app that says 'all the incriminating shit is here, including the name and address of the last three assholes.' I can't think of a single problem right now that wouldn't solve."
I snorted. "How inconsiderate of them not to include that feature. Maybe we could make one. Do you think they'd be nice and use it for us?"
Boner tapped his finger against his lip, pretended to think that through. "Considering they're card-carrying members of the asshole club, I'm going to guess the answer to that is no."
I sighed. "So selfish of them."
He put an arm around me, careful not to spill either of our coffees.
"On the other hand, I'm even more motivated to add their hearts to your collection. And you know what, I might start a collection of my own. The right middle finger of each of them."
"You want a collection of them flipping you off?" I asked with a short laugh.
He frowned. "Huh, I hadn't thought of that. Scratch that idea. There's no other body parts of theirs I'd want to keep."
I patted his chest. "I guess you'll have to hold onto the memories instead."
That was marginally more sane and sustainable than collecting body parts. Unless technology changed drastically, memories couldn't be used as incriminating evidence against us.
Although, who knows what technology they would come up with next? Maybe mind reading apps were the next big thing.
I fucking hoped not.
Boner grinned. "That I can do."
Cass grimaced up at us like we were both out of our minds.
"Don't mind us," Boner said. "Dark humor is how we cope. It's what separates us from the psychopaths."
"Psychopaths don't have a dark sense of humor?" I asked.
"I was thinking more along the lines of psychopaths not bothering with coping mechanisms outside doing crazy shit," Boner said reasonably. "Us, we're trying to cling to our humanity. The minute we let go of that, we are, as they say in the classics,fucked. They might as well lump us with Fairfield and that Carl guy."
He gave me a brief glance to indicate he remembered where Carl ended up, but wasn't going to bring it up in front of Cass.
At some point, Cass and I would have to have that conversation. Now was not the time. Not when I had no idea how he'd respond. He was determined to take his place as one of us. Knowing what was in the meatballs he ate that night? That might make him look at everything differently.
"You're right," I said. "We have to do what we can to keep from losing ourselves. Otherwise, we're as bad as they are."
"As long as you don't say we're worse," Boner said. "Them? They all know what they're doing. They know it's wrong and they do it anyway. They enable each other to do it. We enable each other to stop them." He said the words with pride and a puffed out chest. All cocky Englishman.
"We are definitelynotworse," I said firmly.
We enjoyed killing a little bit less than those assholes did. That meant we were still relatively sane. Right? We hadn't lost sight of what was important. Hadn't lost our humanity.
"You know those TV shows where the crime scene is so clean it's suspicious?" Cass asked, his eyes still on the screen. "Like there's no way in the world the place could be that sterile?"
"Sounds like Archer's place," I said. "Yes, what about it?"
He tapped a finger on the top of the phone. "This is the same. Without actually looking at the photos, I can see there's onlythree of them. There's no social media. No music. No heart rate tracker. Not even a compass app."
"Some people hate social media," Boner pointed out. "Have you seen how toxic those places can get? I love me a good cat video or silly dance as much as the next guy, but then you get to the comments section. Someone always has to be a prick. The cat isn't cute enough. The goalie didn't make enough saves. The dress is blue. For the record, the fucking thing was white."
"I'm sure Archer will have an opinion on the dress," I said. "Cass is right though, most people have social media in one form or another. If only to communicate with customers and… Whatever."
