If everything goes the way she thinks it will, my next heat cycle should come three months after the first. It might be a normal heat, or it might be another mess of erratic waves. Either way, I’m not complaining.
Without the suppressants, the difference in my health is night and day. I no longer wake up vomiting, my hair isn’t falling out, and I don’t get migraines under bright lights.
It makes me sad when I think about everything I put myself through, but I needed that wake-up call.
I’m trying to be kind to myself, even if I feel silly.
I was scared.
My first heat was a mess, but my time at the omega clinic with Declan, Damian, and Ravvi reset my feelings toward my designation.
Having only three alphas makes us a smaller than normal pack, but my instincts are sure our unit is complete.
And truthfully?
Keeping up with three guys is a lot of work sexually.
I have questions about how some omegas have seven or eight alphas and betas in their packs. I mean, where there’s a will, there’s a way, but I’m content with how our family is now.
Rook refuses to let us join the tour any earlier than Dr. McMillan’s first directive of a month. Once we leave the clinic, we end up in a short-term rental in Chicago.
My mom and little sisters fly out to see us, but they only stay for three days. Even three days kinda feels like an eternity when I’m still learning how to express affection when other people are around.
By week three, we’re all losing our minds.
Declan joins an obscenely priced gym, while Ravvi, Damian, and I practice to prevent getting rusty. We also work on a few new songs. The break is nice, but it proves that we would all lose our minds without jobs and something to focus on.
Everyone is relieved when we get our tickets to fly to New York to meet Riot and Creed.
My level of anxiety is on par with what I felt the first night we stepped on stage for this tour.
The questions from the paparazzi on the way in are annoying, but the interviews coming after our set are what has me most anxious.
They’re going to grill me about what went down, how I see the future going, and focus all their questions on my designation rather than the quality of our music. Or that’s what my brain is busy trying to convince me is coming.
Damian, Ravvi, Riot, and Creed stand around talking. It’s clear how much they’ve missed each other, and it’s good to see Ravvi and Damian excited to be back on tour.
Declan swaggers over from where he was seated talking to Bellamy and wraps his arms around me. “How ya doing, princess? The bond is kind of a mess.”
I laugh. “Yeah, I have the pre-show shakes.”
He bends and kisses my forehead. “You’re going to nail it like you always do.”
I stretch up to meet him, and he gives me a real kiss, sending steady comfort in the bond. I’m still embarrassed about what went down when I passed out—everyone was right, I would have been happier not watching the footage—but it’s life.
Medical emergencies happen.
Sometimes we don’t take the best care of ourselves.
Hopefully I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I will be prioritizing my health in the future. I only get one life, and I plan to live a long one with my guys at my side.
“Okay,” Bellamy says, coming over to join us. “For our friendship to survive, I need to not have to see you tongue-fucking my uncle every time I turn around.”
I snort against Declan’s lips and pull back, smiling.
“By the way, we have something for you.” Bellamy laughs. “I commandeered the surprise project from the twins, but it’s great. You’re going to love it. Technically, you have Damian to thank for setting it in motion, but you can give me your unwavering gratitude too.” I laugh, and she winks. “I’ll give it to you after the show so you have something to look forward to.”
“Thanks,” I say, trying to settle my nerves.
