Life gets so much better for all of us over the next couple weeks. At least, that’s how it feels. The energy on the bus is lighter, and we really start to feel like a cohesive unit.
The only thing that doesn’t improve is my reaction to the suppressants. Some days I wake up fine, and the next, it’s right back to feeling miserable all over again.
It’s frustrating, but mentally, I’m stronger than I was before. I think it’s because there’s an end in sight.
Once I made the call to go off my meds, it gave me a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just rough getting going on the days I do feel like shit. Luckily, I’m no longer trying to keep the truth from the world.
Okay, I definitely have no plans to let anyone outside of our bus know how badly I’ve been suffering, but Damian, Ravvi, and Declan know. All three would be happier if I would give up the medication immediately, but I can’t do that to the fans. Not to mention the other bands that we’re touring with.
Once we’ve honored the responsibilities regarding this tour, I’ll be going off them. I’m even cautiously optimistic that Ravvi and Damian will help me with that heat I have on the horizon.
The thought sparks an unexpected pang of arousal. I almost wish they wouldn’t be such perfect gentlemen.
Damian holds my hand and lets me cuddle with him on the couch.
Ravvi and I have had several hardcore make-out sessions, but I want more.
I’m seventy-five percent sure we’re dating.
Hell, I don’t know.
If I was less of a chicken, I would ask, but labeling seems like it could destroy whatever we’re building. And honestly? I’m happy with whatever the three of us are. There might not be a label, but whatever it is… It’s working for me.
There are some shows where the energy is electric. Tonight is one of those nights. I’m in awe of the way Damian plays when he’s in the zone.
It’s almost ethereal.
And goddamn, he’s sexy.
Wardrobe put him in a black long-sleeve button-down and leather pants. The shirt hangs open in front, showing off his lithely muscled chest and stomach. Honestly, I don’t know how he keeps up that physique. He never works out with the rest of us, so I guess it’s part of his genetics. He’s not bulky, but when he moves just right, you can see the outlines of his abs and those sexy V muscles that disappear into the top of his skintight jeans.
I’m baffled how he has hip bones that sharp when he eats whatever he likes. I can look at a cheeseburger and gain two pounds.
Damn omega genetics.
He’s on his guitar for this song, and the way he stretches back, strumming the strings, is enough to be distracting. His eyes stay on his hands, and I actually have to focus on my lines, which never happens.
I know from experience that the veins on his arms will be sticking out after playing this hard. I can only see the ones on his hands, and those poke out too.
God.
That’s so hot, and I don’t even understand why. Maybe it’s a combination of the visual and knowing what kind of skill it takes to play at the level he does with so little effort.
Could be the smirk that tips at his lips as he catches me watching.
He winks, and my vagina stands up and waves.
I shake my head and lean in, focusing on the audience.
Holy shit.
It’s hot in here.
It’s always warm under the stage lights, but I feel like I’m boiling from the inside out.
I’m a sweaty mess as I make it offstage, but Declan meets me with a cold bottle of water and a hand towel.
“You’ve got a solo interview. It’s a big deal, supposedly. Simon told me to bring you over as soon as you stepped offstage, but if you want to get changed, we need to be quick.” His blue eyes sparkle as he quirks an eyebrow.
