If only I was confident enough to invite myself into her room to snuggle.
Chapter Six
Cove
The next few cities are a blur.
I fall face-first into my bed every night and mentally prepare for how shitty I’m going to feel in the morning.
No matter how hard I try to prepare myself, it doesn’t help.
When I feel good, there’s no possible way to anticipate how bad it truly is when it hits. Even if it sucks, I shake it off and force myself through interviews, practice, and evening shows.
No one can accuse me of not being committed. I guess I’m starting to wonder if this level of laser focus on my goals is really worth the long-term health consequences.
My mouth and throat hurt regularly from how violent the vomiting is. It’s not an everyday occurrence, but it’s more frequent than I’d like. It’s also happening more than it did at the beginning of the tour.
God.
I’m so ready to feel like myself again.
Ravvi walks at my side as we make our way out of the building, following our show. We’re lucky there are so many of us now that they brought in a second bus.
Riot and Creed took the new bus with their sister, Bellamy. It leaves me with Declan, Ravvi, and Damian on the old bus. They’re the ones sleeping in the bunks, so I really shouldn’t complain.
It was insane before Bellamy came to tour with us. Since there are only four bunks, Declan always ended up on the couch, rather than riding on the bus with the rest of the security team and tour staff.
I think he did it to be extra stubborn about ensuring we couldn’t get too wild.
“How ya doing, Clover?” Ravvi asks, tossing an arm around my shoulder.
His electric scent hits my nose, and everything in me aches to stop in my tracks and turn toward him so I can bury my face in his sweaty T-shirt.
He’s called me Clover since I was a teenager, and it spilled over into everyone calling me it.
I love my name, so I’ve never been big on nicknames, but knowing the reason behind it makes my stomach flip-flop, even if things are majorly complicated between us.
The first time I asked him about it, he explained that four-leaf clovers symbolize luck, faith, hope, and love. Each leaf is said to signify one of the concepts.
I can still remember the way his dark eyes sparkled as he told me all about it. He’s very sweet when he wants to be and way too charming for my own good.
“I’m serious. You’ve got all of us worried.” He squeezes my shoulder, and I frown.
The last thing I want to do is to get into any of that right now. It’s another reminder of what I have to look forward to in less than ten hours.
“Cove?”
“I’m good. You saw how hyped the audience was tonight. We killed it.”
We hit the double doors at the end of the long corridor, and Ravvi shoves the push bar with a strong hand. He holds it open and follows me out into the cool night air.
“We always put on a solid performance. That’s not what I’m asking about.” He slips around in front of me, blocking my path to the sidewalk. “You’re exhausted. We can all see it. Have you considered seeing the tour doctor? I can ask my dad to have someone else brought in if you don’t want to see McMillan.”
I hate the concerned look that crosses his face as his brows draw together.
“Not every problem can be fixed by nepotism.” I roll my eyes but smile to offset the sting of my words.
I’m not trying to be an asshole.
