That’s when I knew: I would not, could not put my girls and Mark through it. If I couldn’t find a way to stop the demon, I’d go away. Kill myself, even. I thought of that scene inThe Exorcist, when Father Karras tells the devil to take him, then jumps out the window. Would I be able to be that strong and brave? I had to be, I thought, as I looked at my girls. I had to do whatever it took to save them.
PENNY WAS WAITINGin the living room when we got home. She’d readily agreed to stay with my mother while we attended the ballet at the opera house, but she seemed pretty stricken to me now.
“Everything all right?” Mark asked her.
“Of course. Fine,” she said, with a grim, forced smile.
Olivia was bouncing off the walls.
“I’m gonna go tell Grandma we got her ice cream! Will you put some in a dish for her, Daddy?”
“Of course,” Mark said. He turned to Penny. “Would you like some peppermint stick ice cream, Penny?”
“No, thanks,” she said.
He headed to the kitchen with the pint we’d bought, humming the “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.” Olivia thumped down the hall. I could hear my mother calling out to her, “There’s my favorite ballerina! How was the show? Tell me everything!”
“Okay if I go to Theo’s?” Izzy asked.
“Sure,” I said, and gave her the keys to the Volvo. “Back by eleven, okay?”
She headed out, leaving Penny and me alone. Penny was pulling her coat on. She wouldn’t make eye contact with me. Something was wrong.
“Penny,” I said, putting a hand on her arm, tried to get her to look at me. She stiffened, pulled away from me. “What happened?” I asked.
“Your mother—” Penny began, voice hushed as she looked around to make sure no one would hear.
“What?”
“Nothing. I just got spooked, is all.”
My throat felt dry and tight. “Spooked by what?”
What had my mother done?
“Penny?”
She said nothing, just zipped up her coat.
“I’ve got to run, Ali. I’ve got to get home.” She went out the door without another word. I watched her head down the driveway and disappear into the darkness.
THIRTY-FOUR
OLIVIA WAS CURLED UPon my mother’s bed, listening to her sing a song.
I held still in the doorway looking in at them, a forgotten shadow, a spy who didn’t belong. I thought of the glass angel hanging in the living room, always watching.
A deep unease settled in my chest and stomach as I watched my daughter cuddling with my mother. It took every bit of resolve I had not to run into the room and rip Olivia away, carry her off to safety. I told myself my daughter was safe. The demon wouldn’t dare harm her. It was me it wanted.
My whole body ached from exhaustion, and my eyes stung and felt gritty.
I’d been up late last night in my studio searching the demon books for something that might help me. I read chapters on the history of demonic possession, famous cases, exorcisms, sigils and charms to keep people safe from demons, the language of demons.
I’d texted Penny:
Are you okay? I’m out in the studio if you want to share some Electric Sheep and talk. If my mom did something that freaked you out, you can tell me.
She didn’t respond.
