Mark let go of my hand and stood up, grabbed Olivia midspin. “Come on, little mouse. We’ve got cookies to decorate and a tree to trim. And I’m depending on you to put the star on top.” He carried her off into the living room. Moxie trotted after them, tail waving.
Izzy was still seated at the table, studying me.
“You all right?” I asked.
“I’m just wondering.”
“Wondering what?”
“What you’re not telling us.”
God, this kid knew me too well.
I stood up, shook my head, gave a dismissive little laugh. “You shouldtext Theo, see if she wants to come join us. I’m roasting a chicken, but we’ll have plenty of vegetarian sides.”
“Are you two going to come help, or do the little mouse and I have to do the whole tree by ourselves?” called Mark.
“Be right there!” I said, ready to escape Izzy’s questioning gaze. I turned back to her and said, “Come on, your father and sister are waiting.”
FIVE
ICARRIED MY PHONE ANDa supersized glass of wine out onto the side porch and shut the door on the Christmas music being pumped out of the TV in the living room. I’d always loved the view from here, gazing east over our property to the mountains beyond. If I looked to the left, I could see the lights from Penny and Louise’s place through the bare trees. In the daytime, I could see the smoke from their chimney, hear their sheep bleating and the chickens squawking. I longed to see Penny, to tell her everything that had happened with my mother.
Next to the wreath-decorated porch door was the antique Santa doorstop, inherited from Mark’s grandparents. It was cast iron and worn, a particularly terrifying version of Santa with a pockmarked painted face and rusted eyes.
I took a breath of cold, woodsmoke-scented air and stared off through the dark evening at the mountains to the west, glowing purple under the moon and stars. There was no snow yet, but I knew there would be soon. It was December in Vermont, after all.
I’d dropped Olivia off at the dance studio and said polite hellos to the other dance moms. Mark was planning to pick her up soon, but Theo and Izzy were at the dining room table with him, turning gingerbread men into zombies and ghouls with x’s for eyes and bleeding wounds. When he’d started to protest, I’d shot him a look:Be grateful they’re here decorating at all.
Walking away, I smiled as I heard Mark say, “That’s a wonderful leaking-brain thing you’re doing there, Theo. Very creative.”
“Thank you, Mr. O’Conner,” she said.
Theo seemed like a good kid. I didn’t know her well—she and Izzy had only been dating a few months, but Izzy was clearly crazy about her.
Back in early October, Izzy came to me while I was cooking dinner and announced, “I broke up with Noah.”
“Oh?” I’d said, knowing to keep my questions to a minimum if I didn’t want to risk her shutting down.
“I’m seeing someone new,” she’d said.
I’d nodded, though I was thrown off by the news. Izzy and Noah had been dating for almost two years. He was her first real boyfriend, and Mark and I had grown quite fond of him. We’d done dinners and cookouts and even a camping trip with his family.
“Her name’s Theo. She’s in film club with me.”
“Okay,” I said. Izzy looked at me like she was waiting for me to say more. I wasn’t sure if she wanted validation, or if she was bracing herself for uncomfortable questions.
I went for the simple response: “Well, I can’t wait to meet her.” This got me a smile.
“You’ll like her,” Izzy said, and it turned out she was right.
Theo was friendly and polite. Some of the kids Izzy brought home barely made eye contact with Mark and me, but Theo always smiled, greeting us and asking how we were. She thanked us for having her over for meals and was especially effusive when I served her anything vegan. I knew she liked chai with almond milk and black bean burgers, so I always had some on hand—little things that went a long way with both her and Izzy.
Zipping up my fleece against the chill on the side porch, I sat down on the bench next to a very large and unsettling stuffed snowman Mark had put out—a new addition to the Christmas menagerie.
Behind me, the big living room window cast a warm glow over the porch. I could hear Mark laugh at something one of the girls had said.
I pulled out my phone, swiped and tapped to dial my brother’s number. He picked up on the second ring.
