“What did it say?” Susanna asked. “Please tell me.”
Something struck Peter suddenly and he got to his feet.
“Perhaps,” he said, “you would all prefer it if I were not here since this has nothing whatsoever to do with me, has it? Shall I leave the room? May I wait for Miss Osbourne—”
But Lady Markham had raised one staying hand and he sat again.
“No,” she said, her voice sounding weary. “There is no need to go. There was something in your father’s past, Susanna, something that had remained hidden for years but had finally come to light. Things were becoming ugly for him. He thought shame would be brought down upon you and himself and upon Markham for having employed him and housed him. He thought, I suppose, that he would be dismissed in disgrace and would have no further means of support for himself and a young daughter. He could see no other way out but to do what he did. That is all I remember. It was very tragic, but nothing can be done now to change the unfortunate outcome.”
It all seemed a little thin and evasive to Peter.I believe I did. That is all I remember. Would not every word of a suicide note be seared on the brain of anyone who had read it—especially when the man had lived and worked and shot himself in one’s own home?
“Andmyletter?” Susanna asked softly.
“To my knowledge it was not opened,” Lady Markham said.
“Was it destroyed?” Susanna asked.
“I do not know.” Lady Markham blinked rapidly. “I cannot imagine Markham burning it, but I do not know.”
“Perhaps Theo knows, Mama,” Edith suggested. “Oh, surely it is still in existence.”
“It is probably as well if it is not,” Susanna said. She got to her feet, and Peter rose too. “If my father did anything so very wrong before I was born, it seems to me that he atoned for it with a life of hard work and loyal service to Sir Charles. I do not want to know what it was he did. I do not want to know who…Oh, it does not matter. I would rather leave him in peace. I do thank you both for receiving me and for the tea, but I must go now. I have been away from the school for a whole afternoon and must not neglect my duties any longer.”
“Susanna,” Edith said, jumping up too, “do call on us again. Perhaps we can go walking together or shopping. Perhaps—”
“No,” Susanna said. “My teaching duties occupy me almost all day every day, Edith, and there is the Christmas concert coming up to keep me even busier. I had last evening off and this afternoon. I have used up my quota of free time for quite a while. I…You have your husband and son now to occupy your life. We move in different worlds. It would be best to leave it that way.”
Edith folded her hands at her waist. She looked hurt.
“I shall write to you,” she said. “I daresay you will be able to find a few spare minutes in which to read a letter.”
“Thank you.” Susanna gave her a tight smile.
“Thishasbeen a pleasure,” Lady Markham said. “You will never know, Susanna, how many times over the years I have lain awake wondering what happened to you, wondering if you were alive or dead and if we could have done anything more at the time to find you. I am delighted that you came. You will see her safely back to Miss Martin’s school, Whitleaf?”
“I will, ma’am,” he said, bowing.
But it seemed to him as they stepped out onto the street a few minutes later that the visit had not settled a great deal. Perhaps it did not have to, though. Susanna seemed not to want to find out exactly what had happened eleven years ago and why. Perhaps the comfort of knowing that her fatherhadwritten to her was enough. It would not be enough forhim,but that was not the point, was it?
And at least the visit had given pleasure to Lady Markham and Edith and had perhaps persuaded Susanna that she had not been the unwanted burden she had thought she was.
“Are you glad you came?” he asked, drawing her arm through his.
She turned her head to look at him briefly.
“Yes,” she said. “I would have been afraid to set foot beyond the school doors for fear of running into them. Now I have come face-to-face with them and discovered that they are just people and just as I remember them. Edith is pretty, is she not? I hope she will be happy with Mr. Morley.”
“Even though you never could be?” He chuckled.
“But I was not asked to be, was I?” She laughed too.
It was good to hear her laugh again.
And so the end had come. She might have been celebrating her betrothal now. Instead she was about to say good-bye.
By her own choice.
Susanna knew as they walked along Great Pulteney Street in silence and turned onto Sydney Place that memories of her visit to Lady Markham and Edith would return to haunt her for some time to come, along with her decision not to press on with inquiries into the contents of her father’s letter to Sir Charles Markham or into the possible continued existence of the letter he had written her.
