Well that’s a relief, at least, I think as I nod. “And what about…” Shuddering, I can’t bring myself to say it: us. What about us?
“Pen, I know you’re upset.” I manage to snort a nasally laugh as tears slip down my cheeks. That’s putting it lightly. “This isn’t about you. Or us. I need some time away from here. Some space.”
Logically, I can understand the way he’s feeling. I want to accept it. But knowing the time and space will end up creating even more distance between us, I just can’t. I end up nodding through my tears just to hide how much this is breaking me.
“I get it, I do. I just… I don’t want to lose you.”
“Pea, baby.” It’s like he unfreezes as he jerks his hands out of his pockets and takes two quick steps toward me, scooping me into his arms. “I don’t want to lose you either. But if I don’t take some time away to address some personal shit, I’ll continue to spiral. And as much as you’re my anchor, I can’t bring you down with me.”
“I love you,” I sob against his chest. The past few months have been so challenging, so exhaustingly difficult to navigate together. The intimate spark we had so recently ignited was practically extinguished. I knew in my heart how difficult it would be to grow closer again, knitting ourselves around a Gloria-shaped hole in our hearts.
But I never expected this.
“And I love you.”
“A little?”
“A fucking lot,” he murmurs. I laugh through my tears.
“When do you leave?”
“In two days.” I sob harder.
Dom’s grip on me grows tighter. “I’ll come back, Pea. I promise.”
Having to promise he’ll come back indicates to me that his departure will be indefinite. That promise is the final break in my heart, allowing doubts, fears, and anxieties to seep in and take hold.
EIGHTEEN
september
DOMINIC
Voluntarily leavingfrom Pea is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Gloria’s death was tragic and difficult, but there was a finality there. We literally laid her to rest.
I knew if I stayed in Prairie Ridge, without getting the help and closure that I need in Kentucky… my dark emotions would simply fester. And Pen is too good, too pure for that part of me to taint her life.
“It’s good to see you again.” The cool, reserved voice jerks me from my thoughts.
I’m sitting at a long, sleek bar that runs along the wall, its shelves lined with a curated selection of fine liquors. Behind the bar, expansive mirrors amplify the sophisticated atmosphere, reflecting the rolling, lush Kentucky hills visible through a grand window on the opposite side. Every detail— from the polished surfaces to the high-class decor— boasts of refined indulgence and a hint of pompous charm.
Across from me, behind the bar, is Kennedy. My former best friend and business partner. I never wanted to see him again in my entire life, but here I am.
He strokes the granite top of the bar and grins. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”
Yes, it is, you fucking prick. Can’t let my mouth ruin this too early. “Of course it is. I designed it.”
Kennedy’s smile falters. “I never got to say?—”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
He eyes me suspiciously. Anything he’d been about to say would have been a lie. As fake as the damn spray tan he consistently applies because he thinks it makes him look suave. “So what can I do for ya then?”
I take note of how busy the bar is for an early Tuesday afternoon. The fancy monogrammed napkins, the one-time use metal cocktail picks at each bar station, the obscene collection of rare bourbons displayed in a vintage chest at the end of the bar. Not a single cut-back or spared expense, not like most bars have to do after the initial opening hype dies down.
“I’ve done some research. This place is doing really well, huh?”
