Which is all my fault. No matter how professional he tries to be, I can’t. I don’t have it in me. “I know! I’m sorry.”
“No. Notyou.” His voice becomes harsh, making me freeze in place. “Me. It’s not your fault. You’re not the reason. It’s me—what I feel for you isn’t professional, and it never was. Not even in the beginning.”
I let out a harsh breath.
“I know how this seems,” he says. “You probably think I don’t want you—that I don’t want to touch you—but I do. I touchedmyself last night.” He winces. “With your underwear. Fuck. I’m sorry. I had to get that off my chest?—”
Why does the idea of him jacking off into my underwear turn me on? Theo is always so composed, but I’m the one who makes it impossible for him to hold back. Warmth flushes through me.
“Theo, i-it’s fine,” I stammer. “I like it.”
He groans. “That’s the problem. We both like it, and I can’t keep being close to you, knowing it can’t become anything.”
“Why can’t it?” I hate how pathetic I sound, broken over nothing. It’s as embarrassing as stumbling through the woods was.
“Because you deserve better, and you can have better. Why would it be me?”
I turn to face him finally. “Why not?”
“You know why not.” His nostrils flare. “I shouldn’t feel this for you. I never feel this way for anyone. It’s always been so easy to push it all away. To be on my own. You make it impossible.”
I won’t apologize again, even though the urge is there. Instead, I lift my head higher. “Then stop. You don’t have to be alone.”
I may as well be talking to myself. We may not seem like it, but Theo and I have so much in common—too much. It may doom us, or it may be the thing that makes us work.
“Does that mean you want this too?” he asks. “Even though…?”
He doesn’t have to put it into words. Everything standing between us already lives in a list in the back of my mind: he’s older, my boss, and my brother’s best friend. None of it matters.
“I want you.” I step closer. The cabin is small enough that I don’t have to move far, but it still feels like there are miles between us.
“In what way?” His breath comes out ragged. “Because I need you, Evie. What I feel for you—it’s not sex for me. It’s notphysical. I’m not the type who wants something strictly physical. How do you think I spent so long alone?”
“How long have you been alone?” My brows furrow.
“Ten years.” He hesitates. “I’m demisexual. I don’t?—”
Everything clicks into place. Everett assumed Theo was emotionally unavailable, and maybe he is, but I wonder if my brother knowsthis. Probably not. My bisexual, hippie brother would surely be more understanding of Theo’s sexuality.
“It’s all right.” I smile softly. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I know what that means.”
His shoulders relax. “I didn’t know for a long time, but when I found out… it felt right. My entire life, and all the times I felt like a failure, they suddenly made sense.”
“You’re not a failure. Your worth doesn’t come from how much you are or are not sexually attracted to someone.” I finally close the gap between us, resting my hand on his chest. “I like you. It’s not just physical for me, either, and it doesn’t have to be physical at all. I would be happy to hold hands—whatever you want?—”
His mouth lands on mine before I can finish the thought, devouring me so entirely that any question I have dissolves into nothing.
“I want you,” he growls into my mouth. “You are the only one I want—in every way. I want to taste you, to hold you… to fuck you. You never have to question that I wantyou.”
I lean my weight onto him and laugh softly. “Right back at you, handsome.”
“No more waiting.” He pushes into me, his body pressing against mine, guiding me to the wall. “I’ll give you anything you want. All you have to do is ask.”
He drops to his knees, and I gaze down at him, my expression softening. The hunger in his eyes is so evident. He doesn’t touch,doesn’t do anything he promised, but he waits on the floor for my confirmation.
“Taste me,” I whisper, fluidly lifting my leg and hitching it over his shoulder. “Do what you want with me, Theo. I want to be yours. Claim me.”
He kisses my ankle and moves closer, his head diving under my skirt.
