Every fiber of Alix’s being screamed at her to stop, to keep the awful truth of her illness hidden. Yet she’d already broached the subject—and she felt an unexpected urge to be honest, for once.
“I have a…condition,” Alix said haltingly. “Hélène knows, and has apparently been telling people about it.” Briefly, Alix explained that she’d suffered from a crippling panic ever since her brother died. She told him how Hélène had found her having an episode last year at the opera, and was now spreading the word about Alix’s illness.
Eddy listened to her confession thoughtfully, without judgment. Perhaps she’d never given him enough credit.
When she’d finished, he shook his head. “Someone else must have spread those rumors. It wasn’t Hélène.”
“No one else saw me!”
“That you know of,” Eddy insisted. “You said it yourself: you were out in the walkway of the opera house. Anyone might have been watching. I swear, Hélène would neverhurt you like that. Actually, she’s always liked you, in spite of…um…”
“In spite of Grandmama’s plans for us?”
“Yes.” He lifted his deep blue eyes to hers. “I realize that I’m in no position to ask a favor, but will you agree not to tell anyone about me and Hélène? I want to protect her reputation.”
Oh.Alix had assumed that Eddy and Hélène were engaged in a secret courtship, that they had exchanged whispers and flowers and perhaps even a scandalous moment like her kiss with Nicholas. But if Eddy was genuinely worried for Hélène’s reputation…Well, Alix highly doubted that they had left it at longing glances. Or even at kisses.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she assured him.
“Thank you.” Eddy looked relieved, but then he sighed again: an angry, helpless sigh. “Though as I said, it’s not as if Hélène and I can get publicly engaged, even once you and I break off our…understanding.”
The future King of England marrying the Catholic princess of a former, deposed throne? No, Alix didn’t see Grandmama agreeing to that.
“You really want to marry Hélène?” she asked.
“I’ve already proposed, and she said yes. I love her.” The frankness of Eddy’s reply caught her off guard.
“If you love her, then you’ll have to find a way.”
“But how?Youare the gold standard, Alix. You’re the one that Grandmother wants, and no one else will satisfy her. If only you weren’t so perfect,” he added, with a touch of sarcasm.
“I’m hardly perfect, Eddy.” Hadn’t she just told him about her shameful illness?
“Well, you do a damned good job convincing everyone that you are. Why do you think I originally asked to courtyou?”
Before she could swallow it back, alaughbubbled out of Alix’s chest.
She lifted her hands to her mouth, horrified. Eddy stared at her for a moment, and then, to her surprise, he was chuckling too.
It was strange to think of it—the life they might have built together, if they had followed Queen Victoria’s mandates. For a moment that future seemed to shimmer in the air between them, as incandescent as a ghost.
“You’re right. Looking back, it’s clear that I did an appalling job of wooing you,” Eddy agreed.
“I’m sure there have been worse courtships,” Alix quipped, testing a joke.
“Undoubtedly. Uncle Alfred’s, for starters.” Eddy stood and walked to a side table, where he poured amber-colored liquid into two crystal tumblers, then handed one to Alix.
She eyed it with some skepticism. “Is this brandy?” A lady shouldn’t drink anything but wine, or the occasional glass of sherry.
Eddy shrugged. “I know it’s not really proper, but then again, neither are our circumstances.”
“I suppose not.” Stealing a glance toward the half-open door—the hallway seemed mercifully empty—Alix lifted the glass to her lips. The liquid burned down her throat, and she coughed.
“Alix. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I swear, Hélène wouldn’t spread cruel gossip about you,” Eddy said again, his tone low and earnest. “I just…I don’t want there to be bad blood between us. At least, not about that.”
“I do believe you,” Alix decided.
Feeling brave, she took another sip of the brandy. This time its warmth felt almost pleasant, curling like a fire deep within her belly.
