“Oh, it was all for Tino’s sake.” A funny expression darted over Nicholas’s features, but Alix couldn’t quite parse it out.
“Did he enjoy his grand tour? I imagine you were there to keep things calm,” Alix said tactfully. A woman never did anything to mark the occasion of getting married, except perhaps for a tea with friends when she returned from her honeymoon, but it was different for men. Apparently on hisown pre-wedding tour, Uncle Bertie had left a string of angry husbands and gambling debts all over Italy.
“Something like that,” Nicholas said vaguely.
Alix’s hand rested on the iron railing. Nicholas put his hand next to hers, close enough to touch without quite daring to do so.
“You look lovely tonight,” he said quietly.
The air felt cold against her overheated face; she looked down at her feet to avoid Nicholas’s gaze. “It’s a silly costume. I don’t really care for fancy-dress balls.”
“Neither do I.” Nicholas made a self-deprecating gesture that encompassed his military uniform. “We only arrived in town this morning; we’re staying with Eddy and George at Marlborough House.”
It was as jarring as always, hearing Nicholas refer to Eddy. The two of them occupied such vastly different roles in Alix’slife.
“How long will you be in London?” she ventured.
“That depends.” He cleared his throat. “I was disappointed when Ella told me that you and Ernie weren’t coming to St.Petersburg this year. I had been hoping to see you—I have quite missed your conversation.”
Herconversation?
“It has been a long time since we said goodbye,” Alix agreed, heart pounding.
“Alix.” One of Nicholas’s hands had strayed to the handle of his saber, as if he might draw it and run someone through. “What you wrote in your last letter…is it true?”
At that, the world seemed to stop.
“You got my letter?” she whispered.
“Why else do you think I’m here? We were supposed to head back after Austria, but I convinced Tino to extend our tour. I needed to see you.” Nicholas swallowed. “Are you engaged to Eddy?”
“No!”
The word escaped her lips in a single cry, like a plea.
“No?” the tsarevich repeated. “Because everyone in England seems to think that you are. Why, Aunt Alexandra told me just this morning that you and Eddy would be making an announcement soon.”
“Grandmama wants us to get engaged, but I have not agreed to it,” Alix insisted—because she hadn’t, not technically. “Nothing has been decided.”
The world felt unnaturally sharp around her, Nicholas’s eyes a gleaming blue against the dusky night sky.
“So you are not promised to Eddy?” he asked again.
The sounds of the party felt impossibly distant; there might as well have been no one on earth but the two of them, together in this garden, beneath the star-flecked sky.
“I am not promised to Eddy, or to anyone.”
Nicholas did not draw in a breath, or reach for her hand, or even smile. But there was a new brightness in his gaze as he turned to her, his breath fogging little clouds in the air.
“Do you remember your last night in Russia, at the Winter Palace?”
“Of course,” Alix said softly.
“I thought for a moment that we almost kissed, but I wasn’t sure…”
Wasn’t sure if he’d meant to? If he ought to?
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”
