Alix fought off a wave of dizziness. Not here, notnow.She had managed to avoid an episode throughout this entire visit; surely she could make it one more day.
Nicholas drew to a halt, nearly making her stumble. “You’re unwell,” he observed, frowning. “I’ll get you a glass of wine.”
Alix shook her head. She couldn’t bear to go into the neighboring salon, where women in low-cut dresses and men with loud voices picked over the late-night feast—chicken in cream, stuffed eggs, and six different kinds of caviar.
“I just need some air,” she managed.
Nicholas nodded. “Follow me.”
Wordlessly, Alix let him lead her out of the ballroom and down a hallway, until they turned down another hallway she didn’t recognize. The cacophony of the party was suddenly very distant.
“Thank you,” she breathed, her steps slowing. “I’m not sure what came over me.”
Nicholas shrugged. “This party makes one feel oddly claustrophobic, doesn’t it? Everyone looking the same, like a horde of ghosts dressed in black.”
She was startled to hear him echo her own thoughts. “Itisrather difficult to locate someone when we are all wearing the same color.”
“But I found you, didn’t I?”
Alix was unnervingly aware of her pulse, of how acutely alone they were. She hesitated, glancing over her shoulder as if a chaperone might materialize out of thin air. “We should probably head back….”
“Of course.” Nicholas hesitated. “But…I won’t tell if you won’t.”
Alix gave a hesitant smile, finally taking in her surroundings. Gas sconces illuminated a hallway lined with oil paintings, most of which depicted bearded, scowling men dressed in ermine cloaks and crowns.
“I haven’t seen this part of the palace.”
“It’s easy to get lost in. Mother and I prefer staying at the Anichov,” Nicholas explained, naming the palace where they had welcomed Alix for tea at the start of her visit. It still boggled her mind that the Romanovs had so many palaces they could afford to live in one and use another just for entertaining and state events. “Though when Misha and I werelittle, we loved playing at soldiers in these halls. My parents had given us wooden toy swords, which actually proved quitedestructive.”
“Ernie had one of those! My father took it away when Ernie knocked over a crystal candlestick.”
Nicholas chuckled. “Misha shattered his fair share of candlesticks and porcelain vases. Once he splintered the entire leg of a wooden side table.”
“And he wasn’t punished?” Alix asked, surprised.
“Oh, you know how my father is. He just laughed and clapped Misha on the back—said he was glad that one of his sons, at least, was a true Romanov.”
Nicholas spoke casually, but Alix sensed that he was hurt. She felt touched that he’d shared something like this with her.
“I don’t think your father was being fair. What defines a true Romanov if not someone brave and intelligent?”
“A Romanov shows only strength, and never reveals weakness.” The words came out so automatically that Alix knew they had been drilled into Nicholas from a young age. He gestured to a portrait on their left. “Like Peter the Great, who refused to accept defeat. Did you know he built this entire city from nothing? The whole area was swampland, but Peter insisted that it would be his legacy. He lived here for two years, in a shack no better than a hut, laying stones alongside the laborers until the main streets of St.Petersburg were paved.”
Alix stepped closer to the painting. She had heard the story of St.Petersburg: how Peter the Great had brought it into existence through brute strength. Not to mention the suffering of countless people.
In the portrait, Peter stood in full armor, a red-plumedhelmet cradled in one arm. Yet he didn’t look warlike or even particularly dangerous. His face, cast half in shadow, was etched with lines that suggested sorrow.
“He looks unhappy,” Alix murmured.
“Hewasunhappy. Despite all his victories for Russia, he lost both his sons, leaving the succession in question upon his death.”
“Who succeeded him?”
“His second wife became empress, though she only lived another two years. Apparently they were very much in love, and once Peter was gone, she died of a broken heart.”
Alix glanced over, surprised at the romantic nature of the story, but Nicholas had started walking farther down the corridor. She trotted to keep up, listening as he gestured to each portrait in turn. “Then we had a series of brief rulers—PeterII, Anna, Ivan, Elizabeth,anotherPeter—until Catherine the Great.”
The full-length portrait depicted Catherine in her later years, dressed in full court attire. The Romanov Imperial Crown, its surface encrusted with diamonds, sat atop her head.
