Alix smiled. “To you, perhaps. I prefer the quiet.”
May saw it, now: that elusive quality that made everyone trip over themselves falling in love with Alix. Her shy sweetness wasn’t feigned, the way May’s was. It almost made May feel protective, except that the very concept was laughable. How could she help a girl who possessed so much more than she ever would?
To her surprise, May found herself wanting to open up. “I understand what you mean, even if I don’t wholly agree. I used to love the weeks my family spent at Chiswick with the Waleses.”
A shadow passed over Alix’s face at the mention of the Waleses, so quick that May almost didn’t catch it. “Chiswick? Is that near the sea?”
“It’s west of London. There’s a lake, but no ocean.”
Alix nodded distractedly. “I’ve always wanted to visit the ocean. Have you heard of this new trend of sea bathing? They say it cures anything, even—”
She broke off before finishing the sentence, leaving May to wonder what she’d been about to say.
There was an awkward silence; May felt the sudden need to fill it. “Will you come back soon? Perhaps for the holidays?”
“I’m afraid not. I need to be home with my father.”
May twisted her fingers around a fistful of napkin. “I suppose you’ll miss Prince Eddy quite a lot.”
“What do you mean?” Alix asked, blood draining from her face.
This was why May didn’t have any friends; she never quite knew how to phrase things. “I’m sorry if I overstepped,” she fumbled. “I just thought—I mean, isn’t it—don’t you two have an understanding?”
Alix drew in a breath, tucking a strand of light blond hair behind her ear. “It would seem that everyone knew about this understanding except me.”
May paused, sensing that she should give Alix space to continue.
“This morning, after breakfast…Eddy asked to court me,” Alix added softly.
They hadn’t been courting already? “Congratulations,” May began, but her words faltered at the sight of Alix’s face. “Alix—are you all right?”
There was a moment of struggle on Alix’s perfect features, her desire for privacy warring with a need to confide in someone. “I don’t know.” She swallowed. “I hadn’t really considered…When Eddy brought it up, I wasn’t…”
“You don’t want Eddy to court you?”
Her cousin stared down at her delft plate, blue-and-white figures dancing around its rim. “Apparently, Grandmama has always expected us to marry. I don’t know.” Alix swept her gaze downward, her lashes casting shadows on her cheekbones. “We don’t love each other.”
There was a moment of silence that seemed to last alifetime.
May’s heart skipped, a wild storm of thoughts racing through her head. Was Alix really dismissing Eddy’s courtship because she didn’tlovehim?
And if Alix had no interest in getting engaged to Eddy—if she, unbelievably, told him no—was there a world in which he might propose to May instead?
It wouldn’t be easy, but stranger things had happened. Anne Boleyn had married a king, and she wasn’t even a little bit royal, just the daughter of a lord.
After all, without Alix in the picture, who was Queen Victoria’s next best option for Eddy? The only other princesses of their generation worth considering were that Mecklenburg girl and a few scattered cousins—Aunt Vicky’s daughters, or perhaps Uncle Alfred’s? Princess Hélène of France could have been on the list, except for the major issue of religion. Queen Victoria might let a younger son marry a Catholic, but it would never do for a future king.
Alix had been the clear choice since they were all children. If she stepped aside, it would be open season on Prince Eddy.
May wasn’t as purely royal as some of the other contenders, but she was royalenough.And she was demure and soft-spoken, a very active member of the Anglican church, and had an airtight reputation, all of which were crucial requisites for a future queen. She was like Alix in that regard: both of them rule followers, tea sippers, writers of embossed thank-you notes. Both were quiet, elegant believers in the Way Things Were Done.
Besides, May had something those other princesses lacked—desperation.
She was determined, and she was here, and she was willingto do what it took to marry Eddy, without letting something as nebulous aslovestop her.
May needed to get out from under her father’s roof, and if she could trade it for the roof of a palace, so much the better. She’d spent her entire life in the shadow of those who were richer or higher born. But if she could find a way to marry Eddy, everything would change. And all those people who’d found her wanting? May would relish the moment they came to her on their knees, begging favors, and she would have the delicious pleasure of telling them no.
She looked back up at Alix, who was watching her closely. Somehow, May sensed that she could tip this situation one way or the other. She could reassure Alix that she and Eddy would be good together, convince her to give the courtship a chance. Certainly that was what Queen Victoria would expect May to do, out of family duty.
