And so are you.
Love,
Lexi
I drop the pen and leave the letter there, putting the ring on top so Tristan can’t miss it. I kneel to squeeze and zip my suitcase closed. For a moment, all I want is to collapse on top of it and weep, but there’ll be loads of time for that later. I am, after all, freshly unemployed.
“Lexi?”
The surge of tears I’ve been holding back surfaces afresh, and I push my fist to my mouth. “Hmm?” I manage.
“Where are you?” Deshni asks.
“In here.” Time to face the music. I walk out of the closet with my suitcase in tow, my purse over my shoulder.
Deshni looks pale. “Lexi? What’s going on?” She holds out a piece of paper. “Jem asked me to give you this reference number for a flight to Miami. She’s emailing you the full itinerary. I?—”
I pull her close, hugging her so tightly I squeeze the air out of both our lungs. “I’ve got to go. I’m so sorry. Jem can fill you in on everything.”
“But why?” Deshni pushes me to arm’s length and searches my gaze, her eyes shiny with tears. “Is it true? About Tristan and you not being engaged? How can that even be?”
It seems rock bottom has a secret trapdoor through which I just fell into a pit of despair.This.This part of the lie is the worst.“Yes. I’m so sorry we deceived you. W-When we made the stupid decision to do this, we didn’t think.” We had no idea what we were walking into. No idea how this would affect other people’s perception of us. It feels as if I’ve shattered all the trust Deshni put in me with one blow.
“But…” Deshni shakes her head, clearly stumped. “I thought you were in love.”
I force down every feeling that wants to surface, and instead give her a peevish smile. “Seems we fooled quite a few people, but not Jem.”
And of all the fools, I was the biggest one. Such a stupid idiot to think this could end any way besides total annihilation of my heart and soul. “Listen, Nathan Beaumont is happy with the spa’s numbers. I’d bet he’ll come see you now that he’s here, if he has time. Be strong. Roger loves you so much, and you’re going to be such amazing parents…” I choke up and take a deep breath. “Everything is going to be fine.” I give her arm a last squeeze. “We’ll keep in touch, okay?”
Before Deshni can say anything else, and before I can explode with tears, I pick up my suitcase again. From the corner of my eye, I spot my vibrator, still half-concealed on the bed. I can’t bring myself to reach for it. I’ll leave it for Tristan, as a memento.
I walk out of the cottage, down to the beach, and straight for the floatplane. A waiter rushes over to help me and takes mysuitcase. “Thank you.” I give him a weak smile as I slip my shoes off.
The pilot pops the door open, and I wade through the water. Several hands help me up and into the plane, but my eyes are glazed with tears, and I just murmurthank youover and over, not able to look anybody in the eye.
I slump down in an empty seat, and the pilot leans back to look at me. “Not a nervous flyer, are you? This ride can get a bit bumpy.”
“No, no,” I say on a swallow. “I’m good, thank you.” So good, in fact, that if we crash into the ocean, with the way this day’s been going, it will feel like I’ve met my final destination: fish fodder at the bottom of the sea.
“Excellent. Buckle up. Barf bag is in the seat pocket in front of you.”
Fantastic.I’d love to have a deep cleanse, and my guts have just been waiting for the go-ahead for the past hour.
Chapter Forty-Two
TRISTAN
As I walk up to the dive center, I spot the two police officers and two coastguards loitering outside. “Just so you know,” I say in passing, pinning Officer Odinga with a cutting glare, “if you damage anything in this dive center during your raid, I’ll make you pay for it.”
Roger did me proud, telling them to take a hike until we’re out with the guests. Now my student is coming up to me, concern in his eyes.Fuck. My head can’t get around Jem’s accusation. To think she was blindly dragging Roger and Deshni into this mess too. And Lexi…Shit.
Roger pulls me to the side for a second, away from the few guests who are still in the dive center. “Stupid police raid. As if this type of thing would happen again so soon?—”
“Why did nobody tell us?” I say, baffled and annoyed to be caught off guard.
“Bro, you should see the pile of papers we had to sign. Every one of us not allowed to say a word,” Roger says as he shakes his head. “Can’t let Beaumont be part of the drug problem on the coast, see? Ne’emba and Beaumont have areputation to uphold… Imagine getting tagged as Drug Island! Love Island? Any day, but drugs!” He huffs. “In the end it was only management and two maintenance guys who were caught. It was a big hush job.”
Fuck me. Lexi.Thisis what she went through with St Chalamet. All I want is to go back to that office and drag her into a hug, reassure her, but I have no choice but to do my job. I rake my hands through my hair, forcing myself to focus on the dives ahead as I step in the direction of the dive center.
