Rain dances on the roof and the fresh scent of wet earth and the cool shift of air that comes with it are so welcome after weeks of solid, humid heat. It’s only when Lexi’s hand slips from where she’d been resting it against my chest that I realize she’s fallen asleep.Sweetangel. It’s way too early to go to bed, but I’m not surprised. She’s emotionally exhausted. She tries to be brave and upbeat, but the past few days have been a wringer.
Even sweeter though is that she was relaxed and comfortable enough with me to fall asleep like this. We do this every night now, but this time it’s different. She felt safe in my arms. I blink, my Adam’s apple scraping as I swallow. That feeling of safety goes both ways. I’ve never told anybody about that week in theCaymans.Is this what being married is like when it’s done right?
I close my eyes, savoring the moment of being this close to her as the rain gradually tapers off. When she stirs with a deep inhale and soft snore, I smile into her hair. Her hand snakes to my side as her head lolls over my arm.
“Did I fall asleep?” she murmurs in a bit of a daze.
“Mm-hmm. Just a catnap.”
Lexi snuggles in, and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces. This is a moment in time I’ll never have again.
“The rain’s almost stopped,” she murmurs as she trails a foot over my calf and down to my ankle. “And you have sandy feet.”
“So do you,” I say with a chuckle.
“All that rain splatter as I rushed home along the beach.” Her lips brush up my neck, and I suppress the neediness in my groin as I splay my fingers over her ass and tug her close, wanting the pressure of her pussy against my budding erection.
Lexi trails her fingers through my hair and pulls me down for a kiss, soft and slow.
“Do you think I should go check in on the guests?” she asks as she pulls away for a breath. “Dinner is probably almost done, and it would be a good time.”
“No.” My fingers find their way underneath her shirt to her breast. “I think you should be a good little honeymooner for once, like all our guests, and stay right here in bed.”
“Honeymoon, hmm?” she hums. “Tristan Martinelli, I’ll let you know that I fake only one thing at a time with you.”
I smile and dip my head to kiss her. Yes, Lexi is as honest and true as it gets. Nothing between us has been fake—except our engagement, and that is starting to freak me out. Not because of the engagement lie, but because lately I’ve been wondering what it would take to make it all real.
Chapter Thirty-Six
LEXI
Something is different between Tristan and me. Things have been shifting over the weeks, but the way he holds me now, kisses me gently—with some reverence, as if I could break—is new. Maybe it’s all in my head, but even now, after telling him the full nasty business that’s The Head and Mia Reed, he seems to be even more caring than before.
I don’t know if I’ll survive tearing myself away from this side of him. Finding him irresistible and consequently having a fun time is one thing. But experiencing this deeper side of him is only bringing us closer. Tristan has always been reserved when it comes to his past. I get that. I don’t like people to know that Dad served a sentence for fraud, and that our relationship never found its footing again. Tristan clearly doesn’t want people to know he was the emotional punching bag that stood between his parents’ verbal abuse for years. As a mere kid.
My heart aches for him. I comb my fingers through his hair as he makes his way down my neck. He’s pushing up my shirt, and already the heat of arousal gathers between my legs. I arch my back into his touch, stroking his skin and relishing that he isbare-chested while I’m still dressed. He is quiet as he perches on an elbow and works my shirt’s buttons, and in the dim light of the bedside lamp I watch his face. The softness of his gaze and the tender fiddling of his fingers ever lower down my body fill me with hope that maybe he’ll say something—something likehe’d like to have more than this. That he doesn’t want this to be over when we’re done. That everything has somehow come together exactly as it should be.
But he says nothing. Usually it’s jokes and teasing and a lot of breathless heaving between us as we have sex, but now, as his gaze travels over my body, his eyes are doing the talking as if he’s lost his voice. I sit up so he can slip the unbuttoned shirt off, and when he brushes his knuckles over my begging nipples, a shudder of pleasure rushes through me. I want to reach for his cock, but he catches my hand and brings it to his lips. “Let me make you feel good, Lexi,” he murmurs between kisses to my wrist. “Let me be everything I can be for you.”
I close my eyes as my emotions well up. Those words are everything. This is all we can ever be, lovers caught in a time-warped place so far removed from our everyday that it’s become a dream we had once, together, in our subconscious, where everything always makes sense in the moment.
He nudges me onto my knees, and I acquiesce, letting him unclasp my bra and strip down my skirt as I tilt my face away, giving him access to my neck so he can’t see how this moment is affecting me. I wish the lights were off, because in the quiet of his reverence and touch, it’s as if he can see straight into my every last wish and the longing in my heart.
When I’m naked, he rises onto his knees and I caress his sides as we kiss and touch as if every moment is gift. My fingers find their way into his boxers and push them down. As he kisses me, a desperation washes over us. But instead of becoming more frantic, we slow, both seeming to want this to last forever. WhenI’m on my back and he’s finally reaching for the condoms, I take his wrist. “Leave it.”
“What?” Tristan stills, his eyes searching mine.
“I want you bare.” Once. Just once. Us, with nothing between us, flayed open and honest. Faking nothing.
“Lexi, I?—”
“My period is due in a day. There’s no chance.” And this is probably why I’m an emotional wreck and feeling everything twice as deep. This will be the first time I do this with someone, and the craving is real.
Tristan sinks down on me with a groan that reflects my every need and want and so much desire. If I could press pause and stay in this cocoon forever, I would. I gather him in my arms, trap him between my legs, and when he kisses me next, his hand cupping my face, it’s with such intensity that I cling to him. He rocks into me, and the sweet pressure is already building in my core.
When he finally pushes in, it’s measured and slow, as if he could make this last forever too.
“You feel so good, Lexi,” he murmurs as he peers into my eyes.
