It isreal.
My shadows fall away from Sai’s body.“Thank fuck,”he groans.
“I never thought... I didn’t know you felt like...” I stumble over my words. My resolve, my well-practiced facade, crumbles. “Do you feel like that now?”
“No.” Kane shakes his head. “But we feel something similar when you’re not near us.”
Similar?My fingers still rest against my chest, but now they’re clinging to something, wrapped around a small rock I convinced myself was nothing but a tactic.
Their eyes all drop to it, and without their walls, emotions flood the room.
There’s too many. Too raw, all unrestrained. I can’t tell where their pain ends and mine begins. Everything’s muddled, tangled, and one emotion always reigns supreme over others—
“And how do you think I felt?” I snap. Hot rage pumps through my veins, eradicating my constructed restraint.
It all just… shatters.
“I was always told to stay away from enforcers, that you were dangerous, merciless, that you’d take me away.” Tears slip free. “Then I meet you and there’s this… this ache I can’t explain, this pull I can’t fight, and suddenly I’m carrying this secret I don’t understand, with no one to talk to and no way to trust what I’m feeling because I didn’t even know if those feelings were mine!”
My heart pounds, buzzing fills my ears. “I’ve never felt so… so powerless, so confused, so alone.” I pull on the chain. “I couldn’t control my emotions. Nothing made sense. And every day, I doubted the people who raised me, I doubted everything I’d been told. I felt like I was being torn apart because my heart was screaming one thing and my head was screaming another.” Metal links dig into my neck, the rock pulses within my fist.
“And not one of you said a fucking word.”
It all leaves me in a shuddering gasp that trembles too close to a cry, but I make sure to look at them, each of them.
Then my gaze drops to the table.
I need the reprieve, taking a moment to steady my breaths.
“You could’ve helped me,” I say, voice quiet, burning rage easing to an ember. “I never knew if what I felt was even mine. Do you understand what that does to a person? To not know if you feel anger, or happiness, or lust? Wondering if you’re just latching off someone else?”
I still can’t meet their eyes, but I feel every one of their looks.
“If you had just told me, even if you weren’t sure. Maybe then I wouldn’t have felt so alone, ashamed… crazy.” Slowly, my fingers uncurl from the small rock, and it settles back against my chest. “I just needed to know what I was feeling wasn’t wrong. That it was real. Mine.”
My final word fades into the silence.
They wait. Patient but brewing. Desperate to speak but just as desperate to prove themselves.
“You’re right.” It’s Sai who breaks first, and when I look up, every piece of him has paled. “I took what I wanted, told myself you knew enough. I should’ve told you, I should’ve waited, but I didn’t. I’m sorry, so sorry.” His gaze drops as he adds, “You deserve better.”
“There’s no excuse,” Julien says quietly, hands folded on the table, knuckles white. “I should have had more restraint. I let the silence harm you more than truth ever could.” He meets my gaze, holding it. “You needed honesty, and I failed you.”
“I should have stopped it,” Ezekial murmurs, eyes sweeping to me. “I knew you were struggling. I could see it in how you looked at us, how confused you felt. I should’ve made them tell you. I should’ve told you myself. I let the people I love choose silence over truth. I’ll never let that happen again.”
“It was me.” Kane’s voice stings, dark eyes set on mine. “We voted. They won. But I convinced them not to tell you. I poisoned them. Said it wasn’t real, that we didn’t know for sure. But I knew. I just couldn’t accept it, couldn’t accept that someone like me would be given a chance of having someone like…”
He breathes in sharply, but his voice stays low. “I let my fear dictate your truth. I didn’t protect you, I didn’t trust you, and I don’t expect forgiveness. But I will carry this. All of it.”
The silence that follows is unlike any we’ve ever shared. Every wall’s been lowered, every mask shattered, and what’s left is only truth, bloody and bruised, but real.
They’re just sitting here, wide open, and maybe… maybe that’s all I ever needed.
Not promises or grand performances. Just this. The truth.
My gaze drifts over each of them, and they wait. It’s that patience, that respect, which undoes the tightness in my chest.
“Thank you, for telling me the truth.” I press my palm flat to the table, my fingers curling slightly against the stone. “But—”
