To see they weren’t hurt, that I hadn’t unknowingly inflicted something—like I had with Kane. I just wanted to be sure.
“But I have no plan, I’m not prepared.” I look up at Kacey, her face soft with understanding. “What do I even say? How do I even begin a discussion like this?”
How could I ever trust them? Did I even want them as my bonds? Platonically or… otherwise.
“Well, we’ve got the rest of the day to prepare,” she says brightly, clapping her hands together. “The support team’s in today, so we can—”
I frown. “But what about Amon—”
She shakes her head, dismissing it. “Let’s focus on you right now, okay? We can talk about that… later. But first, and this is a biggie, so don’t go shutting me out with one of your blank stares.”
I eye her warily as she interlocks her fingers, and anxiousness trickles in the air.
“Do you want them?”
What. A. Question.
I freeze, then blink, opening my mouth just to shut it again, until I finally manage one word. “What?”
“Think, J.Feelit. You need to decide before you walk into a room with the four of them. You need to know.”
“So I don’t string them along? So I don’t mess with their emotions like they did mine?” I scoff, bitterness creeping in as I scowl.
I forgot, she’s on their side. They were her friends first. I’m secondary—
“No, J. No! That’s not it at all!” She throws her arms wide, shaking her head. “I wantyouto know whatyouwant, because it’syourchoice, not theirs. And…”
Then her features twist into something… mischievous. A gleeful light behind those baby-blues. “And maybe you should string them along. Just a bit. Play them at their own game.”
“You’re openly encouraging me to fuck with them?” I stare at Kacey.
Whoisthis woman Amon has released? And how do I keep her?
“I thought they were your friends?” I smirk.
“You’re my friend too. And, well, they did it to you first, didn’t they? They didn’t tell you what you were to them, made your head all messed-up.” She shrugs, lips pulled into a downward smile. “You’re just getting them back, making it even.”
My full grin erupts at her impish attitude. “Sounds like a plan, K.”
Her smile widens, picking up her pestle again and grinding the concoction with renewed enthusiasm.
“Do I even want to know what you’re making so… passionately?” I ask, eyeing the mixture with mild horror, coughing when the potent earthy smell catches in the back of my throat.
When she peers up, with a maniacal grin and glittering eyes, I almost take a step back.
“I overheard you talking on the phone, and when you said you wanted to meet them tonight, well…” She lifts the mortar, letting the scent hit me again. It’s strong, but also strangely… familiar. “I just thought a little truth serum might help,” she ends with a casual shrug.
And I swear, if I could touch this woman, I’d drag her into my arms for a punishing hug.
***
I’m nervous. I haven’t felt nerves like this since my first official night at The Inferno.
I shake myself out, roll my shoulders, give myself a small nod. I can do this. This is fine. There’s nothing worrying about walking into a room filled with four powerful men who are also your bonds.
Nothing at all. I have all the power here.
I am here.
