I relish it.
His other hand slips from beneath mine, and then—so slowly, his fingers leave my skin.
No.
The break from contact shocks me. The pleasant chill he brought disappears, too much heat rushing in its place, and the blissful fog shatters.
I stand too fast, stumbling slightly, and walk away from him.
What did I just do?
What happened to asking questions? What happened to hating him?
Why did I touch him? Why did I let him touch me?
Why did it feel like I needed it?
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.
I no longer want to ask questions. No, I just want to remain in this awkward silence, trick my mind with mundane tasks, pretend he’s not even here. Like he’s not slowly standing. Like he’s not coming closer.
For the love of the Goddesses, why is he coming over here?
I watch his feet, clad in smart black shoes, as they come to a stop at the other side of the planting table.
“Thank you.”
Did… did Kane justthankme?
An apology and a thank you in one hour?
I frown down at the small plant, the one I’d left precariously hanging halfway out the pot when I rushed to him.
Maybe if I don’t look at him, he’ll just leave. Maybe this pleasant, numbing, soothing sensation will just disappear. Maybe then I can go back to hating him, renew my building rage and direct it all at him another day.
“The dark has been… difficult lately.”
Is Kane trying to start a conversation? It sounds like he’s offering a comment on the weather.
“I thought you controlled it.” I stand the pot upright and begin gently replanting it.
“I do,” he answersimmediately. It gives me no time to think. “But so do you.”
I look at him, I can’t help it. I can’t understand why he’s being so… open. So easy. Why he’s revealing these things like it’s simple, like they’re not life-changing pieces of information.
“I do?”
He nods once, his eyes never leaving mine, even when I peer away for a brief second.
“Yes. Yesterday, when you suggested I leave to the dark, it obeyed,” he says tightly, as though each word risks revealing more than he wants to. “My darkness was desperate to comply. But once I was there, it wouldn’t let me leave. It was waiting for you to release me.”
My mouth parts and a stabbing ache begins in my chest at the thought. “I didn’t mean—I didn’t know—”
“I know,” he assures me, the grey in his eyes re-emerging. “It realised, eventually. The dark knew if it kept me there, I’d never… It would never…” He trails off, his gaze peering away.
I’m so desperate for him to continue, I’m leaning towards him, only slightly.
“Never?” I repeat.
