He found the wall dividing us to be a torture. I, on the other hand, relished the torment.
Knowing she was just out of reach, feeling her in gentle whispers and nothing more. The heat that always simmered beneath my skin had cooled, my raging beast settled, her blood tempering the everlasting fire inside me.
And the memory of feeding from her… the taste of her blood, the sounds of her moans, the touch of her skin, the scent of her—
That was another delicious agony. My most prized possession. A moment she had given herself to me completely, let herself be vulnerable with me.
I will never forget it.
Will hope, pray, beg for more. More glimpses of that vulnerability.
And it seemed Sai had already begun to show his.
When he wasn’t caressing the wall that divided us from her—having chosen to sleep on the floor—he shared what I’d missed during my absence. How he told our bond of his past life, how we met, and how he wondered if sharing that part of himself had somewhat instigated her actions—coming to me, feeding me, saving me.
Finding Sai was a bittersweet moment. Finding Jasmine was another.
It seemed I had a taste for mixing pain with pleasure. It was woven into my life. My fate. But I would suffer those agonising moments again and again, because the sweetness always came after, the darkness only making it richer.
All of it bringing me—us—to her.
Maybe it was my time to be vulnerable? To give. All I’d seemed to have done is take. Take from my brethren, take from her…
I contemplate all this while waiting for Jasmine to wake. Even though I would feel it, I still sent her a message. And every time my phone vibrates, my heart picks up. I find myself smiling at my body’s foolish reactions, especially when it isn’t even her.
Ezekial: How are you, Julien?
Me: I am well. Better than I can ever remember.
Kane: Ezekial should stay tonight.
I frown, ready to vehemently reply, when I see the slight tremor in my fingers. I inhale. Hold. One… two… three—exhale.
Me: I agree. However, I’d like to consider increasing to two persons per night.It will help with the desensitising process.
Sai: I’m so in. Fully. In.
Kane: Ask Jasmine.
My darkest of brethren is a quick learner, always has been, and my lips pull into a smile as I type.
Me: I will let you know her response.
The instant I feel her stir, my beast moves.
Her warmth seeps through the walls, calling to me like a fiery siren. But beneath the heat, a chill spreads through my veins, taming the fire in my blood.
I begin cooking.
Sai adored mocking my hobby, the irony too much for him—how I didn’t need to ingest the food I made. But explaining how I enjoyed the methodical process, the instant result, how it eased me, was like trying to explain the beauty ofPelléas and Mélisandeto someone who believes the louder the explosions, the better the story.
The second I see her ‘Good morning :)’in the group Sai created for us all, I’m already standing outside Kacey’s door.
My speed and agility have returned, moving between the shadows almost instantaneously. I feel the most stable I have in… I couldn’t recount. There were too many centuries to flicker through to find a precise moment.
My knuckles rap lightly against the door. I know Kacey is gone because I spent the early hours speaking with Amon. To say he was pleased by my return is an understatement. The poor man also had a beast that required… feeding. And without my recent support, he had struggled.
Alas, I am much older, and he is still so young—harder to tame. But Kane is with him now, and that eased me. After all, his control of the dark far surpassed mine.
