“You know she’s more likely to accept the bond if I’m not in it.” I don’t shout, I rarely ever, but I do raise my voice.
And not one of them denies my words.
“How could I not do this for you?” I spare each of them a look.
“I will not accept this, Kane.” Though Julien sounds calm, I don’t miss the flickers of darkness infecting his stare. “This is not an acceptable option.”
Ezekial’s fingers tighten on my shoulder. I fight the comfort it brings because I know I’ll have to learn to live without it.
Without them.
“Brother,” Ezekial urges, the darkness in his tone almost secondary to the plea, “you’re not even considering the other side.”
Other side? There is no other side. This is the only side. Just one choice. One outcome. The only thing that will keep them happy. Complete. Whole.
Ezekial leans on the table, willing me to look at him. I do, but barely.
“You’re just assuming she doesn’t want you,” he says, holding my gaze. “How do you even know—”
Because who would want me?
“Because I threatened to kill her, threatened to torture her loved ones, to slaughter anyone who got in my way.” My black gaze bores into his light one.
“And yet, you shared a bed together.”
I fix him with a cold look of disgust. “That meant nothing. I was helping her.”
“And she helped you,” he snaps, eyes molten mercury, then he takes a breath. “Remember what she asked the morning after? One of the first things she asked me?”
Shall I pretend I don’t remember? Stay aloof. Apathetic. Pretend her voice isn’t carved into my memory. That I haven’t stored every word she’s ever said. Let them cut into me, syllable by syllable.
“She asked if you were okay, Kane.” Ezekial holds my gaze, doesn’t let me look elsewhere. “She wanted to know how you felt and, even though I wasn’t privy to your conversation afterwards, not all of it anyway.” He smirks. “I’m pretty sure she liked helping you.”
“That’s because she’s better than me.” I stare past him to the far living room wall made of glass, anywhere but his eyes. “You’re all better than me.”
Ezekial shakes his head. “She could have picked any one of us, she could have picked no one, and yet she choseyou.”
I don’t respond.
Julien’s made it clear why she chose me. Not because she wants me, but because she knows I’d be the one to lock her thoughts in place. To stop the bond from finalising. To stop us becoming bonded.
A crackle thuds into my arm, the sting dragging my death-stare to the fae beside me.
“Listen, whatever you’re cooking up in that dark head of yours is wrong. So I’ll tell you something that isn’t.” He leans in, this time gripping both my shoulders, bringing me close enough to break his nose in an instant.
“If you ever, and I meanever, suggest breaking up this unit again, I’ll drag you to the Pit, beat the ever-living shit out of you, and lock you up. Do you hear me? Do you understand?” He’s gritting out the final words as his coils slither over me, rattling.
He studies me, waiting for a reaction. But I don’t respond.
I’d no doubt Sai would try to fulfil his threat. But he’s the youngest, and in terms of power, the weakest of our unit—that is, until he falls into the dark. That side of Sai is… challenging, and from the cracks in his irises, I know staying silent is my best option.
Eventually, he pulls away, but mutters, “Break up our unit? Please. What a dickhead.”
“You needed to know I’m willing to step away.”
“No,” Julien snaps curtly, his red gaze streaked with black.
“Not happening, brother.”
