“What do you mean ‘how far you could go’?” I softly snarl, aware of how easily Martha heard us before.
“Certain things are fine, but other...thingsaren’t.” His tone is calm, almost lazy, but his eyes flick briefly towards his unit who all pointedly look elsewhere.
“Things?” I repeat.
I’m not relenting, and no one is stepping in, so he lets out a sigh.
“Sex, Red,” he says so casually. “Sex is what completes a bond—most times, anyway.”
“But most bonds aren’t even sexual?”
“Which is why I said an intimate moment rather than sex.” Ezekial delivers a stern look at Sai.
“Bond completion is a unique process for every member of said bond. No one knows for certain what will result in a bonding, but sex is often the main contributor for sexual bonds.” Julien helpfully takes over.
It makes sense, I guess. But then… “Why couldn’t I touch you?”
Sai remains perfectly still.“Someone change the subject.”
“I’m actually really enjoying this.”Ezekial smiles, taking a bite of his pastry.
If that wouldn’t bond us, why else wouldn’t he want me to touch him? What would Sai not want to tell me… My brows shoot up.
“Are you…” I lower my voice. “Are you a virgin?”
Ezekial laughs first—so loud and sudden I almost flinch, then Julien joins, even Kane stifles his version of a laugh behind his version of a smile.
“No, Red. I’m not.” Sai grins, and he doesn’t even try to keep his amusement back. “But I do have less experience with… certain things.”
“You said no more lies,” I’m not laughing as I repeat the phrase they’ve bounced around. “But you’re all being vague and dismissive. You haven’t even answered my question.”
Just to make a point, I push back from the table.
The men’s laughter and easy-going smiles stop.
Sai’s hand latches onto my knee beneath the table and my body feels alight. His fingers squeeze firmly, veins and rings on tantalising display as his voice lowers.
“I’m not a virgin, Red. But with you, it’s like I am.” I’ve no idea how to process that. “Even this.” He glances down at his hand and we both watch his thumb brush a little higher, touching my thigh. “This is… difficult.”
“Why?” My voice is almost a sigh.
“I’m a lot younger than these old fucks.” He smirks, gaze sweeping back to my face. “I haven’t been immortal for as long, haven’t had as much experience handling my darkness.”
His fingers trace idle circles against my knee.
“So, when ‘Dark Sai’ wants to come out and play—which isalwayswhen I’m around you—” I try not to smile at that. “I’ve got to work twice as hard to keep him locked down.”
Then he leans in, voice low. “We all have that version of ourselves, Red. A darker version. Even you.” His touch slides a little higher. “It’s that little voice in your head, whispering all those dark, possessive things. And when we spent time together, when that voice got a little too loud…” He glances at my mouth. “That’s when I knew to back off.”
I knew too well what that felt like, when the darkness was overwhelming, screaming at you. When Kacey flitted us to her apartment, I thought the voice would deafen me—kill me.
Did he feel like that all the time? Did they all?
He must see my worry because Sai’s seductive touches still.
I swallow. “Can you show me? Can you… let that side out?”
He goes rigid. The lights flicker, shadows bloom, the temperature drops.
