The release hit me like a stage light blowing out, sudden, blinding, and total.
I stifled a shout into the crook of my elbow, muffling the sound in the faux fur of my coat. My body seized, riding out the waves of pleasure that felt dangerously close to pain. It went on for too long, draining every ounce of energy I had left, leaving me slumped against the partition, panting like a dog that had run itself into the ground.
Silence rushed back in. The drip of a tap somewhere. The hum of the extractor fan.
I stayed there for a minute, letting my heart rate drop out of the red zone. The fever broke. The frantic edge dulling down to a manageable hum.
"Right," I whispered to the empty stall. "Sorted."
I cleaned up with the rough brown paper towels from the dispenser, the domestic banality of it grounding me. Buckling my belt felt like re-assembling a suit of armor.
At the sink, I splashed freezing water on my face, scrubbing at the back of my neck where the sweat had dried cold. The face in the mirror looked wrecked, pupils blown wide, hair a disaster, lips bitten red. I looked like I’d just come off a three-hour set, not a utility tug in a toilet. Hearing Z moan my name made it all worth it though. I couldn't help but hope that one day I'd get to hear it without the door between us.
FIFTEEN
Zia
The silence in the green room was absolute, but inside my head, the echo of Alfie’s voice was still bouncing off the walls.Closer. Harder. Good girl.
I lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling tiles, my breath hitching in ragged, shallow gasps. The friction of my jeans against my skin felt like sandpaper on a sunburn. I was a mess. A sticky, trembling, biological disaster.
And the worst part? I wanted him to open the door.
My brain, the analytical processor that viewed the world in frequencies and schematics, was screamingDanger! Run!But my body was singing a completely different tune. It was humming in a low, dangerous resonant frequency that vibrated right through my bones.
Talk me through it.
I had asked him. I had initiated everything. And he had delivered with a precision that devastated me.
Minutes ago, I’d been terrified of the heat haze rising in my blood. Now? Now I felt like I’d just stepped off a cliff and realized gravity was working exactly as intended.
The snowball was rolling. It wasn't a pebble anymore; it was an avalanche, gaining mass and velocity with every second I lay here inhaling the ghost of burnt sugar and blackberries that leaked under the door.
"Zia?"
Cal’s voice. Not through the door, but from further down the hall. Muffled. Mild. "Coast is clear. The boys have secured the perimeter. We’re loading out."
I sat up. My head swam. The synesthesia flushed my vision with washes of frantic neon pink and blurry charcoal static.
"Coming," I croaked. My voice sounded wrecked. Wet.
I scrambled up, using the wall for support. I looked at the door handle. Just metal. Just a mechanism. But Alfie hadn't turned it. He had sat on the other side, hard enough to sound like he was dying, and he hadn't breached the seal.
I unlocked the deadbolt.Clack.
I opened the door.
The hallway was empty.
Well, physically empty. Energetically, it felt like a bomb had gone off. The scent of Alpha distress, heavy, scorched sugar, sharp ozone, dark molasses, hung in the air so thick I could almost taste it on my tongue.
At the far end of the corridor, at the T-junction, stood Euan.
He had his back to me. His arms were crossed, his spine rigid as a steel girder. He was blocking the view from the main venue, acting as a human shield.
Next to him, Kit leaned against the wall. He was looking at the floor, counting tiles, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
Alfie was gone.
