“You’re concerned by what Cal found in Walter’s house,” Iris finally said, still searching the computer.
“There’s no reason for him to have a biosafety hood and vials of the virus, Iris. That’s how things go bad very quickly.”
“I got that impression when you insisted Cal get out of the house.”
“We don’t know where Walter is, but if he was kidnapped by someone trying to get the virus, he could tell them he had a vial at his house. I don’t want Secure One there if they show up. I can’t believe how wrong I was about Walter. I’ve even had dinner at his house, and he was hiding that in the basement the entire time.”
“Wait. When you started working here, where did Walter tell you he got the virus from?” Iris asked, taking her hands off the keyboard.
“He never actually said,” Bec said, rubbing her temples. “I assumed this was one of the government projects we were working on. According to the literature I was sent, the lab has worked on government contracts in the past, and I didn’t think it could be anyone else. Now, I’m not so sure, but it’s not like I can call to ask.”
“You’re not sure because of the vial in the basement?” Iris asked to clarify.
“That, and looking back at all the times I asked himwho was backing the research so I could note it in my paperwork, he just kept saying use dot gov until the bureaucracy decides what they want.”
“You’re right. That is a strange answer. You weren’t suspicious?”
“It felt weird, but I had bigger fish to fry with this vaccine. I told him we had to decide on it soon because I’d need to publish the first paper if we would continue to be funded. I thought the government was funding us at the time, so I followed their guidelines. Why didn’t I ask more questions?” The sentence sounded more like an exclamation than a question, but Iris squeezed her hands until she felt calmer.
“You had no reason to believe you were being deceived,” Iris pointed out. “We don’t know that it’s not the government fronting this research, so keep that in mind. We do know that Walter kept some of the virus for himself, so we need to find out why.”
Shaking her head, Bec glanced up at the ceiling before she told the woman she’d come to care so much for what she knew for sure. “Baby, the only reason Walter would have a biosafety cabinet like that is if he worked with the viruses himself. Those other three vials in the freezer were the base mutation viruses for Ignis Cerebri.”
Chapter Seventeen
Iris tipped her head in confusion for a moment. “Wait, you’re saying Walter created Ignis Cerebri?”
Bec nodded slowly, her lips drawing into a thin line. “I want to know why. Why was I deceived? Am I that gullible? What is wrong with me? I should have done more research, but my research and the people I talked to said this center was cutting-edge. It might look like a sleeper facility, but it was doing big things.”
“Were they wrong?” she asked as she returned to the computer to keep working. She didn’t have time to waste in case the battery died.
“Not about it being a sleeper facility and cutting-edge. I can’t say the part about doing big things. I’ve only worked on a project steeped in controversy and deceit. I should have seen this as a too-good-to-be-true situation,” Bec chastised herself. “Why would anyone hire me to create a vaccine for a yet unknown virus? Why wouldn’t they hire an entire team to do that?”
Iris turned to her again. “Did you know you’d work alone when you took the job?”
“No, not exactly. I knew I would be the head scientist in charge of gathering the data and directing workflow. I expected there to be others who would contribute, likemedical, clinical and public health microbiologists, all working together to look at it from every angle. Once I arrived, Walter told me only one lab tech would be available to help me.”
“And you believe you should have suspected that whatever was happening here was nefarious and walked away?”
“At the very least, I should have demanded more answers. Instead, I dove in headfirst, spurred by the very real threat of what another pandemic would do to the world.”
“Fearmongering is real in any form, Bec. If you were led to believe that a vaccine was necessary sooner rather than later, it makes sense you would buckle down and get to work to solve the problem. Don’t beat yourself up because you tried to do good and help millions of people from possible demise. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, which is why it’s called hindsight.”
Bec’s laughter was soft when she leaned in and rested her forehead against Iris’s. “You’re right. It’s easy to see now that I was afraid of not being good enough or not measuring up because of what happened when I was a kid.”
“Let me tell you what Mina told me when I started working for Secure Watch and felt the same way. She said they tell us as kids we can be whoever we want to be but show us the exact opposite is true by dictating what we can be and when. We can’t change our past, but we can shape our future by being who we wanted to be as kids. Who did you want to be then, Bec?”
“Myself,” she whispered. “I just wanted to be myself.Someone who helped others, was kind, made a difference and was happy in my skin.”
“You help others, are kind and make a difference. The question is, are you happy in your skin?”
“Yes. Since I met you, I’ve never been happier, Iris.”
“Me, too,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss Bec’s lips. “So let’s work the problem together. No more blame game, okay? Cold, hard facts, just like if this was a science problem you had to solve.”
Bec sat up with a smile. “You’re good at tough love, Iris. I’ll give you that. Okay, no more pity party. Let’s solve this problem so we can get on with our lives.”
Iris turned to the computer, but the screen before her swam as she blinked back the tears that filled her eyes. She couldn’t let them fall and risk Bec noticing that she was upset. It wasn’t as though she didn’t know they’d go their separate ways when this was over, but having her confirm it broke her heart. She tried to tell herself how important it was that she learned she could love someone, but her heart didn’t want to hear it.
