“Why?”
“Trent offered me twelve million dollars to sign an NDA forbidding me from speaking about us and our relationship.”
“Of course he did,” he mumbles, taking another bite. “Do you want to do it?”
“I don’t know,” I answer him. “In a way I don’t, because fuck him and trying to silence me again, but then again twelve million is twelve million.” I trail off. “I don’t want to though.”
“Then fuck it, don’t,” he encourages. “Actually, I’ll give you thirteen million bucks to be the one to tell him that you aren’t taking it and to fuck off.”
I bite my lower lip thinking of how much Trent would fucking die if that happened. “My lawyer thinks I should.” He smirks, making my mouth water.
“You know what that means? Time for you to get another lawyer.” I throw my head back and laugh.
“I was thinking the exact thing,” I admit to him, “but for that I’m going to have to call in my cousin Stone’s wife, and well, again, I’ll have to turn to my family.”
He tosses his half-eaten burger down. “You know that is what family is there for, right?” he states. “It’s a give and take. What would you do if the roles were reversed?”
“I would help in whichever way I could,” I reply and he points at me. “Fine, I’ll call her and talk to her.”
He leans back and puts his arm across my leg. “That sounds like a solid plan. Now, tell me something that no one else knows about you.”
I put my elbow on the back of the couch and fist my hand to lay my head on it. “I don’t know if I can,” I answer him honestly. “I don’t want you to think any less of me.”
He puts his head back on the couch. “There is nothing, and I mean nothing, you could say that will make me think any less of you.” His words warm my soul, and for the first time in my life, I tell him two secrets no one has ever known. Secrets I’ve kept to myself out of fear. Secrets I vowed to never tell anyone else. But with him, he makes me want to bare my soul to him. “So tell me, Lexi, what’s your biggest secret?”
twenty-eight
Kirby
“There is nothing, and I mean nothing, you could say that will make me think any less of you.” I know things are different with her. I know I told myself I would stay away from her, but walking out and seeing her in my jersey, it just shifted it all over again. I can’t give up on her. I won’t give up on her. I’m going to be here and be patient as she weaves her way through whatever she needs to do. She’s the one for me, so I’m okay doing things in her timeframe. “So tell me, Lexi, what’s your biggest secret?”
I turn my head on the back of the couch, watching her. “Well, it’s kind of a two-part secret.” She holds up her hand with two fingers up. My arm that is draped over her leg moves to the side when she tucks her second leg on the couch. But I just bring it back on her. “Okay.” She takes a deep inhale. “First big secret. I found out Trent cheated on me when he came home one day and gave me a prescription to take.” I close my eyes, trying to keep myself calm. “He said they were vitamin C tablets to help fight off cold symptoms.” She laughs and then wipes the tear from the corner of her eye. “I didn’t believe him, obviously, and when I pushed it, he finally caved and told me that when he was in Vegas, he got drunk and slept with someone by accident. It was a one-time thing and he had no idea who she was or any of that.” I look up to the sky and hold my breath. “He fucking caught chlamydia and gave it to me.”
I sit up, not sure I can even breathe. “I went behind his back and went to my own gynecologist, and he confirmed I had chlamydia.” She puts her hand on my arm. “Then I did something I vowed to never tell another soul.”
“Your secrets are safe with me, Lexi,” I tell her in a whisper and she smiles through the tears.
“I know.” She tries to hold it together. “That day at the doctor’s office, I asked him to give me a prescription for birth control,” she shares in almost a whisper. “For the last nine years I’ve been taking birth control so I wouldn’t get pregnant.” She snorts. “The irony is, for the last year he hasn’t even been around to try. He sort of gave up after the second year. I was afraid he would want to go and talk to a fertility specialist, but I figured out that it would mean admitting maybe he was sterile, and he just couldn’t admit that to anyone.”
“Lexi,” I say her name and it pains me to say it, knowing she has been shielding herself from him for the past nine years.
“One time when he was away on who knows what, I asked him what he was doing.” She laughs. “And he said he was making himself a tea. Well, the idiot sent me a picture of the teakettle, but it was a stainless-steel one, and I saw him standing in front of it and there were girls there beside him naked, playing with his dick.”
“Okay.” I shake my head. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” I inform her and lean with my elbows on my knees, as my hands hang between my legs.
“Okay,” she says, sitting next to me, “now you have to tell me something that no one else knows.”
“Um, the biggest one is,” I say, looking over at her, “I found out my stepfather was dying. He had stage 4 mesothelioma and was in palliative care. My sister called me crying that he was dying. I flew up there that night, no one knew, and I went to his bedside and told him I was happy he was dying and I hoped he suffered to the bitter end. He died four hours later while I was on the plane back to my house. I showed up at the funeral and I was the last one to see him before they closed the casket, and I told him to rot in hell.”
I’m expecting her to jump up to her feet and run away, but instead she scoots closer, our hips touching as she slides her hand in between my elbow and my arm, letting it dangle in between my legs, until she can slide her fingers through mine. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” she says softly, “and for listening to my secrets without judgment.”
“I said I would let you make the next move. I would wait for you to be ready.” I pull her face close to my shoulder. “But fuck it, I dare you to kiss me.”
She leans in her face, her other hand coming up to cup my jaw as she whispers, “Okay,” right before her lips are on mine. I close my eyes when her tongue slides into my mouth and my own hand reaches across and cups her cheek. The kiss is soft and perfect; she lets my mouth go with a soft kiss.
“Stay with me tonight?” I ask her with a plea.
“You’re still my boss,” she reminds me, this time trying to hide her smile.
