Me:
The best part of my day was seeing you. Thank you for the cinnamon roll. I dare you to come over to my house right now.
“You can’t send that,” I tell myself after I write the last part. I go back and erase it all. “Just be natural.”
Me:
Thanks for the cinnamon roll. It was good seeing you today. We should do it again soon.
“Yeah, that’s good, right?” I ask my cat, Jefferson, who is sitting right next to me, but not so close that we are touching, because that’s not the type of relationship she wants. “Should I press send?” I take a deep breath in, looking over at her and seeing her with her eyes closed. I move my hand to rub down her black back and she opens her eyes and gets up to move away, turning around and giving me her back. “Does that mean I should?” I’m about to press send when the phone rings in my hand.
Kylie’s face appears on the screen, her eyes closed as she makes a pufferfish face. I took the picture when she turned twenty-one and she thought she could drink with the big boys. I got her a shot of moonshine and that was the face she made right after. I swipe my finger across the screen and then press the speaker button. “If you are calling me to discuss paint samples again, I’m blocking your number.”
The sounds of her laughing fill the room. “No,” she pants out, “I am calling because we just got an email.”
“Okay,” I say, not sure I’m following what she is saying. “Were we expecting to get an email?”
“No,” she sings out loudly, making Jefferson look over. Then she decides this isn’t her vibe, so she jumps off the couch and starts to walk over to the back door, then turns and gingerly walks up the steps toward the bedrooms. “Total surprise.”
“Are we going to play twenty questions or are you going to tell me who the fuck the email is from?” I chuckle.
“I mean, playing twenty questions will make my night,” she teases. “Especially since you said you were going to be my right-hand man, but the minute that a decision needs to be made, you take off.”
“I don’t give a shit what type of carpet you want in the office or even what color you want to put up on the walls. I couldn’t care less, that is totally up to you. I’ll only be in there a couple times a month.”
“Whatever.” I can hear the eye roll from my side of the phone. “Okay, start with question one, but there is no way you will ever guess.”
“Is this a woman?” I ask her and she laughs.
“It is,” she confirms. “Now you have to choose between one and three point nine billion women. And go.”
“Is this a woman I know?” I ask her and she hmms. “Is this a woman we know together?”
“I met her, yes,” she says, and I think of the next question.
“Is it someone we know from back home?”
“I guess,” she says and I groan because I’m already over this fucking game.
“It’s a yes-or-no question, Kylie.”
“Fine, then yes, we know her from back home,” she snaps out.
“Have I slept with this woman?” I close my eyes and silently laugh when she makes vomit noises.
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say no, but I’m really hoping you didn’t, or else it will be really fucking awkward for all of us.”
“Okay, I’m about done with this,” I bark. “Just tell me who it is, and what it’s going to cost us?”
“You really are no fun.” She snorts. “It’s not going to cost us anything. Well, it will cost us something if you hire her.”
“Hire her?” I repeat.
My phone pings with a notification and I look down to see Kylie just sent me an email. “Go read what I just sent you. I’ll wait here.”
“This must be really fucking good,” I say, pressing the email logo and then clicking on the one that has Kylie’s name on the top. My eyes go big and I sit up when I see Lexi’s name. I scan the email quickly before gasping out.
“That’s what I said,” Kylie says, her voice going loud.
