“And have you?” he asked. “Considered your options? After putting your brother and me through hell, I hope you’ll be sensible. I should put you over my knee and spank that perfect bottom.” Damn. The image of his words sent blood fleeing south. It was the most inconvenient time to get an erection, but he saw her face redden and knew she was picturing the same image.Promising.
Then tension crackled between them like lightning before a storm.
Farah lifted her chin. “I have. I won’t be forced into a marriage, Rockwell. Not even to save my reputation.”
He nodded, unsurprised by her declaration. It was one thing he admired most about her—her new strength, her determination. She’d blossomed on their trip. “I understand. But what if I’m not here to force you into anything? What if I’m here because I want to marry you? What if I confessed that I’m jealous of the way you appear to be happy without me? Because, I have to say, I’m not happy without you!”
She eyed him skeptically. “Can you tell me you love me?”
“No,” he said with a sigh. “But my feelings are complicated. This has all happened so fast. I can confess that I can’t imagine letting you marry anyone else.”
Farah’s eyes widened, a mix of hope and disbelief swirling in their depths. “You know what I’m looking for in a marriage. Can you give me your heart?”
“I believe I can—with time. I refuse to lie to you and tell you something you want to hear, just to make this situation easier for everyone.”
“Believe you can? That’s not very persuasive, but I admire your honesty.”
He moved to stand directly in front of her so she could see his eyes and he hoped everything he was trying to convey was shining deep within, as he wasn’t very good with the words. “I’ve known you since you were a little girl. Yet, when I saw you dancing around my bedchamber in that Hessian, I didn’t see you as a little girl anymore. You were a very desirable woman full of fire. But I had other plans for my life and marriage wasn’t in them.” He reached out and cupped her cheek. “It’s funny how plans can change so suddenly. If you give me a chance, I believe what I feel for you could be love.”
In the deafening silence, he swore he could hear his own heart thumping.
“It’s a risk for me to hope that your feelings deepen. A lady only gets to marry once.”
He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips and loved the shudder that ran through her. When he drew back, he saw desire swirling in her eyes. She wanted him. He could work with that. He decided to try a different track. “Aren’t you suggesting to Courtney that Lucien could fall in love with her again? Why would I not fall in love with you when we already share so much—friendship, respect, and desire?”
As if sensing he was going to seduce her, she put some distance between them, taking a chair across the room.
“Lucien and Courtney are facing a different situation, and you know it. They can try, but she can still walk away if things don’t work out. If we marry, I’m trapped.”
He ran a hand through his hair, willing his temper to remain locked away. “If I could, I’d give you time but this scandal… You are utterly ruined and your brother is not happy. Do you think you could come to love me?” At her nod, he said, “Then why is it so hard for you to believe that I could come to love you?”
*
She bit herlip. He made a good point. She’d always been infatuated with him, but since their trip to Ireland, she’d fallen completely in love with him. Women tended to open their hearts easier than men. He did desire her. He was jealous of her attracting other men, including Lucien. Weren’t these all examples of a man falling in love? He could have, for instance, simply let her brother force her to marry Lucien.
She thought about what Courtney had said about living her life alone. Denying society dictates and riding the waves of the scandal was just as risky as tying herself to Rockwell when he didn’t love her, because she may well end up a spinster and she wanted children. Longed for children—with Rockwell. It was alittle girl with his coloring and twinkling eyes she had always envisioned.
Life with Rockwell, even if he never came to love her deeply, would be preferable to being alone. Was it her silly pride holding her back? Deep inside, she understood she’d run out of time. Run or marry. What a choice. If she ran, she would lose everything—her brother, her friends, and her heart would be broken.
The tension clear in Rockwell’s jaw told her he was only just holding back his temper. If she put her sensible hat on, she had no choice but to marry. Was his tension because he was worried she would pick Lucien?
She sighed and smoothed down her skirts. “I will allow you to escort me back to my brother’s townhouse—” She paused, her eyes searching his face. “Where we will announce our engagement.” Her statement saw him breathe a sigh of relief, but it was the smile that curved his lips that undid her completely.
She beckoned him with her little finger. He needed no further encouragement. He was by her side in a flash, lifting her out of the chair and into his arms. His lips found hers in a searing and possessive kiss that set her toes curling.
When he drew back, she giggled. “I suppose marriage to you won’t be all bad.” His answering laugh was light and breathless, warming her from the inside out.
His thumb traced the curve of her lower lip, his eyes darkening with possession. “I’ll have to rename you spicy vixen. The timid mouse is long gone.”
She laughed delightedly. “I wouldn’t mind that name. And I’ll only ever be spicy with you.”
“God help me,” he groaned, his forehead dropping to rest against hers. The sandalwood scent made her head spin. “I wishwe were married already. I want to take you to bed and do all manner of wicked things to you.”
She felt heat bloom on her cheeks, but her eyes held his boldly. “I’d like that too. How long before we wed?”
“My eager little vixen,” he murmured, his hands tightening possessively at her waist. “Haven’t you changed their tune?” At her embarrassed squirm, he added, “I will get a special license and we can marry as soon as it is arranged, perhaps in your brother’s drawing room?”
She traced idle patterns on his lapel and loved how he shivered. “Where will we live?”
