Never a truer word had been spoken. That was why Farah didn’t want to lose her heart to Rockwell completely. “Let’s have dinner. Orla will probably arrive soon, and then we need some sleep. It’s going to be a nerve-wracking sail home.”
They rejoined the men in the private sitting room and Farah loved how well-behaved Ava-Marie was. She was sitting, eating dinner with her father. Rockwell and Lucien were deep in conversation about his adventurers on the high sea. Rockwell was telling him about the trip he had taken to Brazil—one Lucien was supposed to accompany him on.
The ladies sat down to eat and it was only the arrival of Orla that broke up the happy party. Caitria took the two gowns and Ava-Marie with her to her room. Orla said she could make up a couple of dresses for Ava-Marie too, before they left in the morning. This made the little girl very excited.
Farah had asked Mrs. O’Donnell to bring up a bath and arranged one for Caitria and Ava-Marie. Rockwell might not come back before dawn, so he could arrange his own bath. She was about to stand when Lucien said, “I wonder if I may have a private word, Lady Farah.”
This was not what she wanted. She was tired from last night, the long carriage ride, and the stress of not understanding what Rockwell was feeling. She wanted some alone time. But whatever she was feeling, Lucien must be feeling worse. His world had been turned upside down and his memories were gone.
Rockwell also stood. “I’m just going to theDoreento ensure we are ready to sail tomorrow.”
Farah found herself alone with Lucien. He rose and poured himself a drink from the sideboard. “May I get you anything?”
“A sherry would be welcome,” she almost sighed. “It’s been a tiring week.”
Lucien set her glass on the table, then returned to stare out the window. He remained silent and the pity she felt for the man almost made tears well. What a few days it had been for him. He’d found out he wasn’t who he thought he was. A woman he loved had lied and told him she was his wife, which now meant his beloved daughter was illegitimate.
“I’m in quite the pickle, aren’t I,” he finally said as he turned to face her. At her frown, he continued. “I’m expected to help my family, a family I don’t remember, and yet I’m not sure I’ll remember how to act and behave. At least I think I’ll remember how to run an estate.”
“You’ll have an estate manager to help you too, and Rockwell and your other friends will also help.”
“That’s true. I actually improved the finances of our Irish family by introducing some changes. I wondered where I got those ideas from.” He took a seat across from her. “ButRockwell’s advice about marrying well and receiving a dowry to help my family is wise.”
Well, Courtney was sitting in London but… This wasn’t the man her friend fell in love with. What would happen when they met? “Perhaps it’s not wise to rush such a thing. You’ll be facing a lot as it is.”
“From your reaction today in the carriage, I take it a marriage with Lord Ware is not something you’d look favorably on?”
Where was this conversation going? “That’s rather personal.”
“It’s just that perhaps we could help each other. If a scandal erupts, you could marry me.” Her mouth dropped open, but he continued, “As the sister of a duke, I assume you have a large dowry, and it would be a way to ease myself back into society with the backing of a duke. Especially with Ava-Marie. I know you’d be kind to her. You’re a good person.” He paused. “And you’re very beautiful. I think we could be quite content.”
“I know you’re scared—concerned—at what will happen when we return to London, but I really think you should wait, before proposing to a lady you’ve only just met.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Do you wish to marry Lord Ware?”
How could she answer that question without saying too much? “Whom I wish or do not wish to marry is my concern and mine alone. Iwilldeal with any potential scandal when I get home.” How, she wasn’t sure. She hesitated, but she didn’t want to arrive in London and have Courtney believe she’d tried to steal Lucien. Courtney was going to be upset as it was.
“If you wish to marry, you had a fiancée before you went to Ireland. She’s my friend, Lady Courtney Montague, daughter of the Marquess of Lorne. She loved you very much and still mourns you.”
He hung his head as if she’d just piled on more guilt and she hated herself for telling him, but if he was desperate enough toproposition a woman he’d just met, then he had to know. “I can’t remember her. Would she accept Ava-Marie? I won’t have her shunned or set aside.” He cursed under his breath.
“She would love your little girl because she is part of you.” Well, Farah would. But would she, if Rockwell came home from one of his many trips with a child from another woman, love that child? At least Lucien had a good excuse. Someone had tricked him into thinking Ava was his wife.
“She’s never married?” he asked.
“No. She said you were her grand love. I’m worried about how she’ll react to your return. So, I’ll not do anything to add to her pain.”
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Another person I’ll disappoint,” he said.
“No!” She reached across the table to take his hand. “Courtney won’t care that you’ve lost your memory, nor will your family. They will be so pleased you’re alive. It’s not every day someone you love comes back from the dead. Have a bit of faith in those who love you.”
“It’s hard to have faith in people I don’t know. But if they are anything like you and Lord Ware, I’ve been very lucky in my choice of friends.”
“You’ll see. Everything will be all right when you get home. There are many who will rally around you and protect you and your family. Don’t let stubborn male pride stop you from asking for the help you’ll need.”
“I think my pride fled when I found out my current life was a lie, that a woman had conned me.”
“I think a woman did something she had to do to survive. But from what I’ve learned, I think she loved you very much and you loved her. That wasn’t a lie. Was it?”
