Rockwell’s heart almost seized. Was he considering not returning to his old life? He looked around the small cottage.While Lucien’s family’s finances were not the best, if Lucien took control of the estates, he could turn it all around, especially if he married well. And he was sure Courtney would welcome Lucien back with open arms. “I didn’t want to tell anyone I thought you were alive until I was sure.”
Lucien nodded. “That makes sense.”
Farah leaned forward. “We are here to take you home.”
Lucien really looked at her. “And how do you fit into this situation? Are you Lord Ware’s wife?”
Rockwell spluttered and coughed. “Please, call me Rockwell.”
Once again, Farah saved him. “No. I’m a friend of his sisters. I accidentally got caught up in this adventure.”
Lucien seemed to accept this because, of course, he’d forgotten how thetonworked. He likely did not know the consequences of Farah being here.
Lucien sat quietly for some time with his chin resting on his peaked hands. Rockwell prayed his friend would come home with them, even if they never returned to their previous friendship. Regardless of his friend’s memory loss, Rockwell only wanted the best for Lucien and he wasn’t sure this was it.
“If I return with you, Ava-Marie and Caitria come with me. Ava and her father died two years ago from the lung disease, and I would not have survived without her cousin, Caitria. I don’t believe Caitria has any idea that this is all a lie. She came from Cork to help when Ava fell ill and had not seen this side of the family for many years.”
Rockwell inwardly gave a sigh of relief. Farah spoke once again. “Of course your daughter must come and Caitria, too, if she wishes. Her life will be very different in England, however. You might wish to ask her first if she wants to go home to Cork instead.”
Lucien nodded. “Of course.”
“How long will it take you to be ready to leave? We have a coach that will fit us all, and my ship is docked in Dublin.” He was conscious, as was Farah, that the sooner they left, the better for her ability to stop a scandal arising.
With a great sadness floating in his eyes, Lucien looked around the cottage. What did he see? Happy memories or hurtful lies. He watched Lucien’s mouth firm and his jaw tighten. “Let me talk with Caitria and get her decision. If she wishes to come with me, we can leave tomorrow.”
“That soon?” Farah asked tentatively. “What will you do with this holding?”
Lucien stood and moved to stand before the fire. “I shall keep it to remember this part of my life. Besides, this is where Ava-Marie was born.” His tone softened when he talked about his daughter.
“I can help you arrange for someone to look after the cottage and land once we are back in England.”
Lucien looked at Rockwell. “Thank you, my—friend.” He smiled.
Farah stood. “We’ll take our leave. Ava-Marie will need supper and to get to bed. It’s going to be a long journey for her. Besides, it’s likely getting cold out in the barn.”
As he showed them to the door, Lucien shook Rockwell’s hand, but he couldn’t help pulling Lucien in for a manly hug. Lucien took Farah’s gloved hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Thank you for your kindness.”
Farah too pulled him in for a hug, and he saw tears form in her eyes. “I’m just so thankful you’re alive.”
Chapter Nine
They sat insilence on the carriage ride back to the village. It wasn’t until they reached the inn and were sitting before a wholesome dinner in the private dining room that Farah let go. And once she started crying, she couldn’t stop.
She was crying for all that had been lost due to his injury. Lucien was alive, but he wasn’t the Lucien they knew and loved. Lauren and Madeline would be so happy that their brother was alive. It almost meant their financial situation could be helped if Lucien married well. And Courtney? She couldn’t stop thinking about what this would do to her friend—to all of them.
Rockwell gathered her close. “Don’t cry.” Although he sounded like he wanted to cry, too.
“He’s Lucien, but not Lucien, and he never will be again.”
Rockwell uttered as if in denial, “We don’t know that. Maybe once he’s home and sees family and friends, something will trigger his memories to come back.”
She clung to his coat, not caring that her tears were wetting his clothes. “Courtney will be caught between heaven and hell. She’ll have him back, but not really. What will it be like to see him every day, the man you love and who once loved you, but he doesn’t remember that love or that life?” And she cried harder.
She let Rockwell simply hold her and gently rock her against his muscular frame. She felt safe, so safe. When she got home, would she ever feel safe again? She lifted her head and gazed intoeyes that were as filled with loss as hers were. Rockwell must be feeling everything that Courtney would feel. To have his friend alive, but not the same, not the friend he remembered.
Perhaps there was only the here and now. No one knew what would happen in the future, so it was important to live in the present.
On impulse, she kissed him. She wanted to ease the pain they both felt. But Rockwell captured the kiss. Captured and deepened her naïve attempt to offer comfort. However, she’d miscalculated his need.
