I glanced at him then, just long enough to see the deep lines carved around his eyes, the tension sitting heavy in his shoulders like he’d been carrying it for days without setting it down.
“I’m sorry, Lark,” he said. No excuses. No justifications. “For not gettin’ to you faster. For lettin’ my head get so damn twisted I couldn’t see straight. For every second you thought you were alone down there.”
My fingers tightened around the chain of the swing.
“You saved me,” I said quietly. “Again.”
His jaw worked like that word landed somewhere painful. “That don’t erase the rest.”
“No,” I agreed. “It doesn’t.”
I turned fully toward him. The porch light caught the scars I never bothered hiding. He looked at me the way he always did, clear-eyed and unflinching, like they weren’t even there.
“Thank you,” I said, meaning it. “For coming for me. For not giving up.”
“I never would’ve,” he said immediately. “Never.”
“I know.” And I did. That was the cruel part. “But that doesn’t change what I saw.”
The swing slowed until it was nearly still.
His shoulders stiffened. “Lark—”
“I saw you with Sugar,” I said calmly, even though my chest felt like it was breaking in two “And now is the part where you tell me it didn’t mean anything. It was only sex.”
His breath left him hard. “I didn’t fuck her.”
I studied his face, searching for cracks. Lies. Anything. I found none, but that didn’t mean he didn’t do other things with her.
“That isn’t the same thing as not cheating,” I said softly.
He swallowed. “I was hurt. I thought—”
“I know what you thought,” I cut in. “I also know I wasn’t worth waiting on.”
That one landed. I saw it in the way his eyes darkened, the way his hands curled slowly against his thighs like he was holding himself still.
“I hate myself for that,” he admitted. “For lettin’ my anger touch you at all. You didn’t deserve it. Not from me.”
The swing creaked as I leaned back, staring up at the stars beginning to break through the clouds.
“I’m not saying you didn’t save me,” I said. “I’m not saying you don’t matter to me. You do. God help me, you do.” My voice caught, but I didn’t stop. “I love you.”
His head lifted, hope flashing across his face before he could stop it.
“But I can’t overlook it,” I continued. “I spent my whole life being told love came with conditions. That I had to accept whatever a man gave me because I owed him for keeping me alive.”
I turned back to him, my voice firm now. “I won’t do that again. Not even for you. You didn’t look for me. You didn’t doubt what you saw. You ran to the first available woman to ease your pain.”
“This isn’t all on me,” he said quietly. “You weren’t honest with me about your meetings with Zach. What was I supposedto think?” He paused, then added, “And I didn’t have Sugar take care of my pain. I went out into the woods with her with the meanest intentions I’ve ever had, but I couldn’t go through with it. You can hold the thought against me, but not the deed.”
“You really didn’t sleep with her?” I asked, my voice smaller than I wanted.
“Couldn’t,” he said. “Even mad as hell, I love you too damn much. You own every part of me.”
The words cracked something open in my chest.
“Do you know how hurt I was when you didn’t come looking for me?” I murmured.
