“The reason they didn’t tell me sooner. Everything has to be perfect because the pregnancy is fucking planned.”
Anger swirls inside me, and I don’t tamp it down. My anger doesn’t scare Sorrow. She encourages me to have all the feels. It’s what makes us human.
“They were in survival mode for most of my life, then my dad’s business became successful, and that took up their time. I’m an afterthought. Have always been.”
“You’re not.”
“I’m a mistake. I can do the math.”
“Because you’re smart and aced math.”
Her tone is wistful but filled with wonderment. This girl digs me. Digs me for my smarts, how well I give a speech in front of not just the graduating class, but the incoming freshman and the rest of the students who will stay behind while me, my boys, and our girls attend Dumas University in the fall. I smile, my anger slipping away.
“Yes, baby, I aced math, and you will too. I’ll be your tutor. The bad boy tutoring his mobster girlfriend.”
She laughs, and her happiness hits me deep in my core. Fuck me, I love making my girl laugh. “My cousins are, but not my dad. He works for the law.”
“Uh-uh,” I say near her ear. “That’s not what I heard. McCabe for life, Sorrow.”
“Yes, McCabe for life. How did the surrogacy happen?” She puts her arm across my chest and her leg over mine. “First, so we’re clear. You’re not a mistake. You’ll never be one. You’re a blessing. Your parents love you. I love you. Your friends love you. How can someone who is loved so much by so many people ever be a mistake?”
I tear up. “Aw, baby, I love you so much.”
Sorrow lifts her face to me. I kiss her until she melts in my arms.
“My mom explained,” I say. My dad was too overcome with emotion. “My mother had bad endometriosis. She had a hysterectomy a few years ago. Her symptoms were getting worse.”
“Your poor mother.”
“She’s a strong woman. She wanted more children, but they weren’t as financially stable as they are now. My father overheard Millie talking to her mother about her cancer treatments and needing money for the hospital bill, and that’s when my dad had the idea about a surrogate. He didn’t think Millie would do it, but she really likes my parents, and she wants to do this for my family. Plus, my dad is paying for the portion of the hospital bill that the insurance company doesn’t pay for her mother’s treatments.”
“A win-win for all.”
“Yes, baby.”
“I’m happy for your parents. I can’t wait to meet your sisters. We’ll have to visit every chance we get from our classes.” She kisses the underside of my jaw. My cock twitches in my pants. “It’s a good thing Dumas is only an hour away.”
“So you’re okay with living and going to school in a small town? You won’t miss the big city?”
“I like San Francisco, but I like life with you and our friends more. I’m also happy that Rush, Beckett, Gunner, and their girlfriends will be there.” She gets on her back and stares up at the star-filled skies. “I do love it here. I love that there’s no light pollution. I love living with you in the guesthouse. It was scary staying there by myself that first night, but now that you’re with me, the nightmares are gone.”
“I’m glad, Sorrow.” I look up at the stars, too, with my hands clasped on my chest.
“I love going to bed with you. Waking up to you. But I do wonder something that only you can answer.”
I glance sidelong at her. She’s smiling. “Yes, baby?”
“Why haven’t we gone all the way yet, Trace? Why are we lying in the bed of your truck when we could be in our bed?”
“Close your eyes and listen, Sorrow.”
She closes her eyes. Her smile widens.
“What do you hear, sweet Sorrow?”
“Frogs. Croaking.”
“Are they happy?”
