“I will. But I won’t stop being friends with Ember.”
“You’ll be good for her.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. You have a big heart.”
I light up with a smile. “Thank you. No one’s ever told me that.”
“Your parents?”
“No. But don’t think they’re monsters because of it. They had their issues to work through. I was just along for the ride.” I shrug.
“A fucking bumpy one.” He scowls.
“Hey, turn that frown upside down. How about we change the subject? So, how else do you feel when you’re around me? When did all this start?”
He lets go of my neck and wraps his arms around me. His large palms rest on the small of my back. His thick fingers toy with my waistband.
“I’m happy when you’re happy. I was proud of how you opened up to the guys. You weren’t quiet or reserved like you usually are. You gave as good as you got when they teased you. It tells me you can hold your own with guys who have enormous egos. I was also proud of you for sticking up for your friend and fucking demanding that Rush give her a sizable tip. She did well for her first day on the job.”
“He’s a jerk,” I repeat. “He has no right to treat her like that just because they have a history together.”
“He’ll come around. Just give him time.”
“Is that what you needed with me? Time?”
“Nah. I just needed a girl to drop an experiment in my lap that gave me the chance to treat her better than I’ve been treating her. I was a dick, Sorrow. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”
He really is a good guy beneath the smirk and nonchalance.
“I do, Trace. We’re all living this life for the first time, aren’t we?”
“We are.”
He cups my face. I turn into his touch.
“I didn’t help my cause when I walled myself off from everyone but Leigh. Now I know better. Being vulnerable and open to new experiences and people is a risk I never thought I’d be willing to take. I’ve had my nose stuck in a book my whole life, or I was fine being with my parents, because I thought it was normal. Even when it didn’t feel right, I should’ve gone with my gut instincts. I’ll take more risks. It’s the only way to know what I like and don’t like, what will hurt and won’t hurt, and to learn from my mistakes for next time, right?”
“You got that right.”
“When?”
“When what?” he asks with a smile.
I smack his shoulder. “You know what. When did how you felt start?”
“At the cliffside. When I told you the frogs croaked because they’re horny, and you laughed. You laughed straight from your soul—carefree, genuine. That’s when I started to feel.”
“I’m with you.” I felt the same as him at the same time. “Tell me more about Phoebe. Was she hurt?”
“Nah, she and I are past that. She knows I’d never develop feelings for her, and the same for me.”
“Whatever you two spoke about must’ve been important if you forgot my coffee,” I tease.
He blows out a sigh. “It was, but it wasn’t Phoebe. It was what she was telling me. Phoebe’s into real-life crime and can go on and on about it. She’s been really curious about you and your family, and she mentioned several crimes where—” He reaches over and turns on the bedside lamp. “We need to have a serious talk, Sorrow. What Phoebe said ties in with your nightmares. We never finished our talk about it, from when you stared off like you remembered something horrible. What I heard was gut-wrenching.”
He pushes to a sitting position and takes me with him. I straddle his thighs with my arms around his neck. “I’m ready.” Am I? Trace said Phoebe’s into real-life crime. What little I recall of my nightmares is darkness, screaming, and the gurgling of a man slowly dying, choking on his blood.
